Meet My Muse

Just for B...

2008-01-22T18:17:00.000-05:00

A friend of mine complained to me that it's been a while since I've updated my blog, and she's right, so I thought i'd share today's (and a couple days last week) "DUH!" moment of the day.

In a baby-proofing and slightly obsessive move, I signed up a while ago to receive email notifications from the US Consumer Product Safety Commission (or whatever it's called) whenever they issued new recalls. It's been highly informative and has convinced me that everything made and painted in China will be recalled for unhealthy lead levels. But that's beside the point.

In the last week, I've seen three recalls for candles. Wanna know why?

Fire hazard.

Yep. Amazing we couldn't figure that out on our own.

Slacker Taggee

2007-12-14T20:37:00.000-05:00

Lucy tagged me on Sunday, and I'm a slow-poke, so I'm just now getting around to answering... but I swear I have a good excuse. I wrote "The End" today on the final draft of Granny's Booty! I'll do an edit this weekend, fix a few things, and then it'll be off to crit partners and beta readers. Woohoo!

On to the tagging...
Two Men I’d Love to Date if I Were Single (and they were single and real)
1. Mr. Honey (He's just so much fun, I'd do it all over again)
2. The hero from Granny's Booty (hehehe)

I Am Wearing Right Now
Pajamas (Hey, you're just lucky I showered today)

Two Things I Would Want in a Relationship
1. Respect
2. Laughter (Just like Lucy!)

Two of My Favorite Things to do
1. Tease Mr. Honey
2. Play Pirates!

Two Things I Want Very Badly At the Moment
1. To be able to take the good cold medicine
2. To sell Granny's Booty

Two things I did recently
1. Had lunch with a new friend
2. Finished my final draft

Two things I ate today
1. Christmas cookies
2. Toast made from homemade bread

Two people I most recently talked to
1. Mr. Honey
2. Jos, online

Two things I’m doing tomorrow
1. Laundry
2. Edits/critiques

Two Favorite Holidays
1. Talk Like a Pirate Day
2. Casmir Pulaski Day (at least, it was one of my favorites growing up. It occasionally meant I got my birthday off from school)

Two Favorite Beverages
1. Root beer
2. Homemade lemonade

Two Things about me, things you may not have known
1. I was in a sorority in college, despite being one of the least likely candidates in the world to ever join a sorority
2. Mr. Honey was my boyfriend before he was aware of that little fact

Two places I have lived
1. Minneapolis, Minnesota
2. Rolla, Missouri

Two of my Favorite Foods
1. Baked potato soup
2. Anything at Fogo de Chao

Two Places I’d rather be right now
1. In a cabin with a full fridge and roaring fire while it snows outside
2. In a large bathtub filled with bubbles (and warm water, of course) with a book at my side and soft music playing in the background. Oh, and some nice strong hands rubbing my shoulders would be nice, too.

Snow Days!!

2007-12-05T09:44:00.000-05:00

I'm a midwestern girl at heart, so living in the south for the last 5 winters, I missed out on the snow. But now, thanks to wonderful Ohio weather, I'm experiencing a real live snowfall! I love snow! Especially on days when I don't have anywhere to go.

Today, I'll be sitting in my office writing, a cup of hot cocoa at my side, Christmas carols playing, while the snow continues to coat the ground. And to think, I fell asleep last night expecting to wake to find that the weatherman had played a joke on me...

Enjoy!

Help answer a question?

2007-11-30T17:51:00.000-05:00

So I was thinking the other day... (Yes, you can cringe now.) And my thinking led to some wondering... So I figured I'd put this to my 4 or so regular blog readers (bless your hearts for coming back after so many months of boredom and silence), and see what you thought. Just a random, unscientific survey done here for nothing more than satisfying my curiosity and see if I'm actually as ignorant as I think I am.

So, the first question: Are you a writer?
And the second question: Where did you first hear about e-books? (Or have you not heard of them?)

That's all. :)

Accountability, Day 5

2007-10-30T16:04:00.000-04:00

Today is the last day of my week-long experiment to see if I actually get more work done when I stick to a schedule. I think my results so far have made the answer pretty obvious, but I'll still post today's schedule and results, just in case you're not tired of it yet. I'll do a final wrap-up over at the Deadline Divas tomorrow.

7:30 - Get up, get going. Overslept! Mental note: consider setting alarm.
9:00 - Start writing
12:00 - Break for lunch (for the record, had a short break earlier to grab my morning snack, but I did research the whole time I was eating)
1:00 - Back to writing
2:15 - Leg stretch break
2:30 - Writing some more
3:10 - Phone call (Would've let voicemail get it, but it was someone who doesn't usually call, and curiosity won out)
3:25 - Back to writing
4:00 - Stop for the day. Halloween's tonight in my neighborhood, so I need to get ready early.

Total words for the day: 5700, just shy of 23 pages
Total hours spent writing: 5.5

Still keeping my 1,000 words/hour page count. Not bad. I'll have to keep this up.

Accountability, Day 4

2007-10-29T16:54:00.000-04:00

Today is the day that I shall call, The Day That Started With A Hangover.

Don't freak out - I wasn't drinking. I just came down with one of these killer headaches yesterday. They've been hitting me off and on the last couple months, and yesterday was my day to deal with them. Sometimes they last a few days, so I was a bit afraid to get out of bed this morning. Once I got up and going, though, things were fine. Must've been too much Mexican food and sunshine yesterday, or something.

So, I started late, but I still feel that I was productive.

8:00 - Roll out of bed, get breakfast, check email & internet, start laundry, call bug guy, do dishes
10:00 - Start work on writing-related tasks. (I swapped a couple chapters with a friend, so I spent an hour looking over her comments and answering questions she had about my comments.)
11:00 - Start writing
12:15 - Break for lunch and chores
1:15 - More writing
4:00 - Stop for the day. Time to prep dinner and finish chores, so I can get to Bunco tonight.

Total writing time today: 4 hours, plus 1 hour for writing-related issues
Total word count: 4,013 words, equal to 16 pages.

At this rate, if I can write 1,000 words an hour, I could finish my manuscript in about 70 hours. Probably couldn't do it in 70 hours straight, though. Even I need to sleep sometimes.

We're in the home stretch, folks! One more day to report daily progress before checking back in with the Deadline Divas. Woo-hoo!

Accountability, Day 3

2007-10-26T18:20:00.000-04:00

In today's episode of As the Schedule Turns, Honey deters from the last two days' primary purpose in order to do some edits. Below is the riveting commentary from her day. Below that is the tag she answered from Lucy yesterday, which is infinitely more exciting.

7:15 - Roll out of bed, do morning stuff, plus dishes, and throw in a load of laundry
9:00 - Start editing
10:00 - Break for food
10:15 - Go back to editing
12:15 - Break for more food, also known as the neverending bowl of potato soup. Bring up dry laundry from the laundry room
1:00 - More editing!
3:30 - Finish all editing for the day, write about 25 words, and call it a day.

On the surface, it looks like I spent less time at my desk today, but by my calculations I still spent 5.5 hours on writing today. I edited about 18,000 words of my own WIP, plus critted 3 chapters for somebody else today, so all in all, I think it's still a productive day. Hooray!

Tagged!

2007-10-25T17:04:00.000-04:00

It's been a while, so I should've seen it coming. I got tagged by Lucy to say 8 unique/interesting things about myself, so here goes nothing.

1. My DNA and fingerprints and retinas are totally and completely unique from everyone else... just like everyone else. (Thanks, Mr. Honey!)

2. My mouth is the only location on my body I've ever had surgery. I've made up for lack of locations with the quantity of times I've opened wide for a scalpel.

3. I don't like to eat cold apples. I much prefer them at room temperature.

4. The doctor and I can't agree on a specific day that baby Honey is due. By my advanced calculations, he should arrive March 25. The sonogram said March 26. By the doctor's formula, it's March 30, but the doctor doesn't take Leap Year into account, so I say it should be March 29. All this, of course, doesn't mean a hill of beans, since Baby Honey will arrive whenever he thinks it's his due date, and since he can't tell me that at this point, nor will he probably understand the concept of calendar dates for several years to come, the entire argument is moot. But I still like to think about it. So, Baby Honey is due March 25, 26, 29, and 30, though we're all hoping I'm not in labor on all of those days.

5. In order to motivate myself to work on the re-writes and edits of my latest story, I decorated my office with peel-n-stick pirates. (It's seriously cool.)

6. For the first collage I ever did, last month at the Moonlight and Magnolias conference, I turned Tony Bennett into a pirate.

7. I am a sock whore, and all my favorite goofy socks have descriptive names. Fuzzy socks, smiley face socks, cookie monster socks, orgasmic socks, etc.

8. My dreams have gotten more normal since I've been pregnant. Or if not more normal, they haven't gotten any weirder. Too bad, really. I enjoy those superhero dreams!

I'm not tagging anyone, because like Kristen, Lucy already tagged most of the people I know and visit on a regular basis. Hehehe!

Accountability, Day 2

2007-10-25T17:00:00.001-04:00

Another day on a schedule, another good bit of writing done. Hmmmm... I'm seeing a theme here.

7:00 - got up, got breakfast, checked email & internet, made dessert for a dinner out with friends tonight, showered
9:10 - Writing (964 words)
10:10 - STARVING, had cinnamon toast and orange juice. Yummy.
10:30 - Writing (1879 words)
12:00 - Lunch.
1:00 - Writing (2024 words)
2:30 - Short break to check mail and wash an apple
2:45 - Writing (2598 words)
4:15 - Done for the day.

Total words today: 7,465, for a rough total of 30 pages. Woohoo!

Coming later, I'll answer Lucy's tag... But thinking of 8 unique things about me after straining my muse all day might be kinda interesting. :)

Accountability, Day One

2007-10-24T08:35:00.000-04:00

Over at the Deadline Divas today, I'm talking about time management and my serious lack of discipline with it. So, for the next week, I'm going to try to follow my schedule (weekends excluded, especially since the fam is coming over to visit this weekend), and then see if my dedication to my writing improves this week.

With that in mind, here's what I did today:
7:15 - Got up, got breakfast, checked email
8:10 - Showered, dishes, bit more email
9:00 - Writing (774 words done)
10:00 - Starving, break for food and check email
10:30 - Writing (2,007 words done)
12:20 - Starving again, break for lunch, check email and internet, pet kitties
1:10 - Writing (1,421 words done)
2:30 - Short break, check email
2:45 - Writing with cats in lap (872 words)
3:30 - Short break, snack and email, fail miserably at opening an apple juice bottle
3:45 - Writing (872 words)
4:30 - Brain fried for the day. Reward self by blogging and playing Pirates! until Mr. Honey gets home

All said and done, between the hours of 7:15 AM and 4:30 PM (for a total of 9 hours and 15 minutes between waking and quitting), I spent 5 hours, 40 minutes writing, for a total of 5,946 words, which is the equivalent of almost 24 pages. That's more than I've written the last two weeks combined. I think this schedule thing may be good for me. (I'm not yet ready to add up how many hours I spent checking my email.)

Found a new bosom buddy

2007-09-25T09:51:00.000-04:00

Last night, I went to a new (to me) Bunco club. It's been over a decade since I last played, so I'd forgotten all the rules, but I haven't really made any new friends since we moved, so I figured it was time to get out and be social. In the end, it was a darn good thing I did, because I found some women that I really think I'm going to click with.

What clued me in? The drool conversation.

It started after we'd finished playing and were walking out toward our cars to go home. The lady I was walking with commented that she was beat, and I realized, for the first time in months, I didn't feel beat. I felt positively energetic, and in a bit of shock over the revelation, I told her so. At the time, I blamed the four cookies I'd eaten (more sugar than I usually get in a week these days, thanks to mini-Mr. Honey zapping me of my sugar and chocolate cravings), but thinking back on it now, it was probably the human interaction.

So my new friend started laughing and said, "Oh, you're gonna crash hard in an hour. I'd be drooling in my pillow."

I nodded and said, "Oh, yeah, that's a given. Especially the drooling part." My new friend started laughing harder, because really, who shares such personal information the first time you meet somebody? So I decided to take it a step farther, because, well, it's what I do.

"But you know what my favorite thing to do is?" I said. "My favorite thing to do is to wait until my husband gets out of bed, then roll over and let it all go on his pillow."

At this point, my new friend is still giggling hysterically, but a woman behind us just gasped. "I'm sorry, excuse me," she said, "but are you talking about farting?"

By the time we'd all picked ourselves up off the floor, I was fairly certain I'd found the group of people I'm supposed to hang out with for the next 18 months. Hooray for new friends!

We Deliver, but We Don't Pick Up

2007-09-13T10:12:00.000-04:00

Mr. Honey got a package from a "National Delivery Service" in the mail last evening. (I won't say which one, because I suspect they all do the same stupid thing.) The package was a replacement set of earbuds for one of our iPods. As part of the deal with our warranty, Mr. Honey used the enclosed return label to package up the damaged earbuds to send them back to Apple. He told me we'd be getting another delivery today from the same delivery service, and if I happened to be around when they dropped off the new package, could I give the return package to the driver?

Well, sure. That's hardly asking for the world, now is it?

So five minutes ago, the delivery service pulls up, drops the package, and I notice in time to go running out the front door yelling, "Wait! Wait! I've got an outgoing package!"

So the driver stops, stares at me like I've got a booger hanging out of my nose (and in all fairness, I very well could have), and says, "I can't pick it up. I'm not authorized. You'd have to call it in first."

Are you kidding me? The United States Post Office would've picked it up. Since when does a government organization do something more efficiently than a private delivery service? To be fair, she offered to wait in my driveway until I made the phone call, but I'd much rather inconvenience them the same way they've just inconvenienced me. (Yes, I know. Grow up, Honey, it's just a phone call. Well, Mr. Delivery Service People, it's just time and gas you could save if you would've picked up my darn package in the first place, not to mention just plain good customer service.)

Next time I have a special delivery need, I know who I'm NOT going to.

It's a Bird! It's a Plane! It's a.... Cat?

2007-09-12T12:26:00.000-04:00

Yesterday morning, I was peacefully enjoying another of my trips to Weird-Ass Dream Land when I was yanked fully back to reality by this horrendous crashing noise at the side of my bed. Mr. Honey, who had been up for a couple hours and was working at his computer in the office, came flying into the bedroom about the same time my eyes began to focus on the situation at hand, which wasn't easy, considering I didn't have my glasses on or contacts in. Before either of us could say a word, though, this giant black thing came flying out of the top of the closet, landed on my thigh as gracefully as an ADHD cat knows how, and took off for the hills.

Mr. Honey snickered the entire time he was on the floor, gathering his shoe polish supplies and placing them back in the shoebox Jinx had managed to knock off the top closet shelf, occasionally pausing to find the little culprit peeking into the bedroom, at which point he'd affectionately say, "Jinx, you dolt," and then go back to snickering and picking up.

Saffron slept through the whole thing, curled up in a cat bed on the footstool beneath the window in our bedroom. It's like she's got a sixth sense that tells her when Jinx is being Jinx, and when it's time to panic. I love my cats. They entertain me to no end. Thank goodness this time it was 7:30 in the morning instead of 1 AM.

Intergalactic Princess Rides Again

2007-09-09T18:52:00.001-04:00

The other morning I got up, and as I was moving about and trying to wake up, I stopped for a minute to tell Mr. Honey about my dream.

In this particular dream, I was an intergalactic princess again. This time, I was playing poker with a bunch of other intergalactic big-wigs, when I suddenly realized they were going to totally cheat me out of whatever winnings I might have. So I called them on it.

And all around the table, these intergalactic prigs were like, "Yep. You ain't winnin' nothin', princess. Let's just accept it and move on."

But I was like, Hell, No! I wasn't playing poker with cheaters.

So I called in my troops to take out the jackasses who didn't like to lose to a woman.

And then Mr. Honey was really nice to me all day long. I wonder if it was related to my dream?

Creativity Needed

2007-09-07T12:44:00.000-04:00

Yeah, yeah, I haven't been writing like I should, so I need some creativity there, but I've got something else in mind today. It's my mother's fault. Blame her.

See, yesterday afternoon I got this email from her. Apparently her 400-month wedding anniversary with my dad is coming up at the end of September. (We don't ask why she figures these things out, she just does.) So, since she took the time to let me know about this upcoming holiday, I figured I'd ask what she intended to do about it. What is the traditional 400-month wedding anniversary gift, anyway?

She doesn't know. I don't know. Google doesn't know. But according to google, there are about 4 other people on this planet who've blogged about their X-times-100-month anniversary (where X is any whole number between 1 and... 16?). So, for the sake of the 4 other people on the planet besides my mom who keep track of these things, I've decided it's my duty to define some traditional and modern X-times-100 month anniversary gifts. But apparently pregnancy hormones are messing with my creativity, so I could use some help coming up with ideas. So far, all I've got is a special clock for the 100-month anniversary that counts down to the 200-month anniversary, and also sends emails to everyone in your address book when the 200-month anniversary is coming up, so you don't look like a dork for being the only one who remembers these things.

Anybody else got some ideas?

Just Not Right

2007-08-28T08:41:00.000-04:00

I don't know if I've missed this because we don't have TV, or if it's just one of those special little hidden things that pop up amidst movie trailers, but I sat and laughed my little booty off Sunday afternoon when I saw this video:

Anybody else think this is just wrong?

The Coolest Thing In The World

2007-08-26T16:48:00.000-04:00

Mr. Honey and I went to the movies today. And do you know what I had from the concession stand?

A milkshake!

In all my life, this is the first time I've ever had a milkshake at a movie theater. In fact, I didn't even know it was possible. We were driving to the theater and I told Mr. Honey that if I could get anything in the world from the concession stand, I'd want a milkshake. But then, since I figured it wouldn't be an option, I didn't even think about what flavor of milkshake I'd want. I just left it in my own little dream world.

So what did I see as soon as we walked in the door to buy our tickets?

A Ben & Jerry's!

So I had a cookies and cream milkshake during the Bourne Ultimatum (and 30 minutes worth of previews), and I was in heaven. I love my new favorite movie theater.

Ahem

2007-08-19T18:51:00.000-04:00

There's a honeybun in the oven.

This is August?!?!?!

2007-08-13T20:42:00.001-04:00

For the first time in almost 6 years, Mr. Honey and I sat outside in August at our place of residence, and we actually got a little chilly instead of nearly sweating to death just by thinking of stepping outside.

In August!!

I love my new home. :)

Anyway, we've moved, we're still getting settled, and the kitty cats are finally content after weeks of knowing something wasn't quite right in their world. I should be back regularly sometime soon. :)

Happy August!

I am not crazy

2007-08-03T13:34:00.001-04:00

This morning, Mr. Honey and I were in our bedroom with our cats and a cold glass bottle of ginger ale. We weren't doing anything in particular. I think Mr. Honey was petting the cats and I was watching, because there was really no need for me to do anything else. All of a sudden, Mr. Honey turned to me and said, "Was that your ginger ale making noise?" And I said, "Yes it was."

See! It's not just me! Mr. Honey hears the voices in the water bottles (and ginger ale bottles) too!

He refuses to admit the bottle was actually talking, though. He thinks it was just letting off steam, quite literally. I think he just didn't listen closely enough.

I'm just about outta here. Tomorrow morning I'll pick up Mini-me (aka my youngest sister aka Bubbles) at the airport and the two of us will begin a grand adventure to my new house. Woo-hoo!

Lessons in Moving

2007-08-02T16:05:00.000-04:00

1. Sneezing is an excellent abdominal workout. Sneezing happens when you tear your house apart to put it all in boxes. Abs of steel, baby, abs of steel. (Probably a sinus infection eventually too, but the abs of steel are much more impressive.)

2. Mr. Honey has this freakishly cool talent he likes to call "tetris-fu" (and he thinks he can credit Tee Morris with the phrase). Mr. Honey can look at a crapload of stuff and make it all fit inside a space that I would've sworn was too small to fit said crapload of stuff, and then have room left over.

3. Let the professionals pack your kitchen. Time for one professional packer to pack a kitchen: 5 hours. Time for 3 other professional packers to pack up 3 bedrooms plus a living room, dining room, bathroom, laundry room, coat closet, and two outdoor storage sheds: 4 hours. Time for Honey and Mr. Honey to do it all themselves: Ha! Like we're stupid enough to find out! (Nor would we like to price the attorney fees for the inevitable marital problems that could result.)

4. Hide the internet modem, wireless router, and laptop computers from the movers, so you can still plug in to the web once you're sitting around your house with nothing entertaining to do, since everything else has been packed and sealed in boxes that won't be picked up for another 3 days. Might want to hide a couple books, too.

5. Make friends with people who like to cook you dinner. Just trust me on this one.

Hope everyone has a great weekend. I'll see you Monday from my new home, once my new network is all hooked up.

The Problem with Moving

2007-07-27T21:20:00.000-04:00

No matter how many bags and boxes of stuff you throw away, donate, or foist off on friends while getting ready to move, there will always be more stuff that you find when you arrive that makes you scratch your head and say, "Why did I keep this stupid thing again?"

And the only thing worse than asking that question, is having your spouse reply, "Because you didn't listen to me when I told you to throw it out."

Lucky for Mr. Honey and me, at this point in the game neither of us asking the other if we should keep anything, but instead just pitching it all, so we can't blame each other when we arrive at our destination in 2 weeks.

Back.... kind of

2007-07-16T15:37:00.000-04:00

Jeez, vacation is tiring. :) How's everyone in blogdom doing this week?

Mr. Honey and I left 2 weeks ago for Seattle, and we did just about everything a tourist can do in the city. We did the Space Needle, Pike Place Market, a Duck Tour (quack quack, baby!), and even got to have dinner with Aura and her guy!! :) It was fantastic.

Then, the following Sunday, we boarded a cruise ship to Alaska. Mr. Honey kept a running commentary of everything we did each day on the ship over at his blog. Drop me a comment if you'd like a link to it. :)

I had a really cool dream that involved moose and bears and whales while we were gone, though we only saw one of those in real life. The whales were all over the place, and we saw a good number of them from the cruise ship. Mostly we saw just the tails of humpback whales as they came to the surface to breathe, but we also saw a couple orcas breaching!! That was really cool.

Today's devoted to unpacking and cleaning, so we can re-pack and clean even more when we move in 3 weeks. Time's flying.

More later!

-honey

Gah! It's the Matrix!

2007-06-30T11:50:00.000-04:00

The world is coming to an end.

Mr. Honey is sitting across the room from me, swapping jokes with his brand new Macbook. And it's talking back to him!!!

Quote of the day: "Holy shit, I can play chess by speaking."
And then the computer spoke back!

It's official. His computer is cooler than mine. Maybe mine needs a name to make it somewhat cooler in the grand scheme of computer coolness. Any ideas?

What I did on my first trip to the Pacific Northwest

2007-06-27T10:18:00.000-04:00

1. I Wii'd. Yep, I'm not longer a Wii virgin. FYI - it's not a good idea to call your husband after the equivalent of 3 root beers and ask if he's Wii'd yet. Or if he's played with his Wii. Guys get kinda sensitive about that sort of thing.

2. I got licked up my nose. Quick warning - if you go visit the castle of chaos, son't put your guard down if Tucker and Digger are about, unless you want a doggie bath. :)

3. I crashed a funeral procession with Ellen and Kristen. Really. In Idaho. I wasn't kidding when I said, "Hey, I think we just joined a funeral procession." But nobody believed me until we saw the hearse. Would've crashed the funeral, too, but we didn't figure my pink socks, orange shoes, and bright yellow "Life is Good" t-shirt would be appropriate.

4. Went to a wedding and watched Mr. Honey do the Muppet Dance. I love that man. And he's coming home Friday! Woo-hoo! Or, as K's little minion likes to say, Woot!

Happy Wednesday. We now return you to your regularly scheduled blog break... Up next week, I'll be touring more of the Pacific Northwest. In the meantime, I'm trying to stay on Pacific Time.

Holy Road Rage, Batman!

2007-06-19T10:11:00.000-04:00

I really am taking a break from blogging - this is just one of those "couldn't pass it up" moments that I'll pop in with from time to time the next couple months.

So, you want to know how bad global driving habits have become? So bad, that now the Vatican is urging motorists to be more careful. Read the full article here.

In case you're curious, here are the suggested 10 commandments of the road:

1. You shall not kill.

2. The road shall be for you a means of communion between people and not of mortal harm.

3. Courtesy, uprightness and prudence will help you deal with unforeseen events.

4. Be charitable and help your neighbor in need, especially victims of accidents.

5. Cars shall not be for you an expression of power and domination, and an occasion of sin.

6. Charitably convince the young and not so young not to drive when they are not in a fitting condition to do so.

7. Support the families of accident victims.

8. Bring guilty motorists and their victims together, at the appropriate time, so that they can undergo the liberating experience of forgiveness.

9. On the road, protect the more vulnerable party.

10. Feel responsible toward others.

So, what do you think? Should people live by the ten commandments of the road? Would you?

So long, Farewell....

2007-06-18T17:55:00.000-04:00

But not forever!

My summer vacation is over, at least the laying around the house eating bonbons part. Tomorrow I board a plane to take me to the Pacific Northwest, where I'll visit with Ellen and Kristen and go to a wedding. A week later, I'll be home to do laundry and get ready for Mr. Honey to return from his month-long business trip. The following Monday, we fly to Seattle, where we'll hopefully meet up with Aura and tour the city, then a few days later we'll board a cruise ship to spend a week sailing around Alaska.

So I'd say I'd be back mid-July, when we get back from our trip, except... 3 weeks after that, I'm packing the cats up in the car, and we're driving to our new home in Ohio. And I'll be looking to join the productive people in the workforce once more, though of course I'd much rather sit around in my pajamas, baking brownies, reading good books, and writing.

I'll try to post random updates and pearls of Honey-wisdom here over the next two months, but if I'm scarce, well, see above. I'll hopefully be settled and back for real in September.

Happy Summer, everybody!

Done!

2007-06-14T17:00:00.000-04:00

109,748 / 109,748
(100.0%)

Still lots of edits to do, since it's a bit long, but I'm rewarding myself with dinner and the privilege of starting on my next story before I tackle the clean-up. I need to get my objectivity.

I also need to figure out why blogger won't let me update my sidebar without throwing everything out of whack. Argh.

Happy Weekend! (Er, almost weekend.)

That sound...

2007-06-14T06:46:00.000-04:00

That sound you hear in the otherwise deafening silence of this blog is the sound of my fingers madly typing away. The smell is that of an overheated keyboard, with a little side odor of overactive imagination burning a hole in my head.

And the lack of an update on that word count over there is due to sheer laziness. I'll update it when I finish the book. Later today.

Gotta run! There's more words to be put on paper... But while I'm off writing, check out this blog post from Therese Walsh over at Writer Unboxed. Timely advice, let me tell you!

Nightmares amidst a storm

2007-06-12T10:47:00.000-04:00

I'm getting ready to go grocery shopping this morning, which brings back a very painful memory from last night. See, at 2:30 AM, I awoke to the sounds of thunder exploding over my house and rain pouring down like all the angels in the sky had simultaneously decided to overturn those buckets of tears they've been hoarding since early April. It was fantastic.

But the downside, of course, was that waking up in the middle of the night inspired some rather unpleasant dreams. In fact, I dreamed I was at the grocery store. My cart was like the bottomless pit - it took hours and hours to empty everything I was purchasing onto the belt, and I don't remember how high the mountain of bags was. I do, however, remember the bill. And I distinctly remember thinking, "Mr. Honey isn't going to like this." See, Mr. Honey's out of town for the month, so it's just me and the kitties that I have to feed. And there was no way in the world I could justify over $400 for one week's worth of groceries for the 3 of us, 2 of whom exclusively eat cat food. Good cat food, but not gourmet cat food. Either I was planning on eating filet mignon every night, with a side of some rare vegetable and caviar, or I was planning to get fat. I'm not sure I like either option. So now, I'm off to buy regular fruits and vegetables, and hope like hell it costs less than $400.

Happy Tuesday!

Today's favorite thing about summer vacation

2007-06-08T10:07:00.000-04:00

It's all about the uniform.

I'm sitting on my love seat today in a yellow Mutts t-shirt that says "Celebrate Life" and blue Life is Good shorts with Rocket the yellow dog all over them. Add that to my pale green chicken socks, and I'm feeling pretty spiffy.

I'm headed to Atlanta this weekend to visit with Mr. Honey (who's got a weekend off - hooray!) and some friends of ours. We're going to hit the aquarium and the zoo. What are your plans for the weekend?

The Perils of Unemployment

2007-06-06T07:41:00.001-04:00

aka, Why I've been a blog slacker despite having more time on my hands.

I've been officially unemployed since Friday. As you can see, it's been over a week since I've been here, despite all this new time on my hands, so it's probably pretty obvious that either I've been really busy keeping house with these extra 9 hours on my hands every day, or I've been lazy about switching from my real gmail account to my blogger gmail account, for fear of forgetting one of my passwords and forever being locked out of my everyday account. Bad blogger. I'm working on a solution to this problem now, I swear. If only I could think of a reasonable pen name that doesn't sound like a hooker's call sign...

So this morning, I'm sitting here on my couch, kittens snuggled up napping on either side of me, wondering how early I can call my neighbor to go take a 4-mile walk through the neighborhood. And I have nothing witty to say. It's like I left my funny brain behind when I walked out of those doors of my former place of employment Thursday evening. Or maybe it's the extreme amount of writing I've managed to get done in the last 2 days. (That word count over on the sidebar, by the way, is for the first draft. I've just surpassed it in the second draft, so if I can get my lazy fingers to do anything other than type in the wip today, you might see it updated tonight.)

No funny dreams lately, no obnoxious run-ins with any coworkers who have no idea how hilarious they are (No, I won't stamp your personal bills for you!), just some housecleaning and writing and visiting with Mr. Honey, who's about 3 hours away for a month of training. Oh, and reading. Lots and lots of reading - 3 books plus 3/4 of an audio book since last Monday. Woo-hoo! That's one part of summer vacation that'll never get old.

Anyway, in honor of all this new time on my hands, I'm blogging today about time management over at the Deadline Divas. Hope you'll stop on by!

Happy Hump Day.

May the Dream be With You

2007-05-29T08:00:00.000-04:00

Maybe it's a being sick thing, or maybe it's just that my mind is always suffering from some sickness or another, but I had another one of those weird-ass dreams last week. At any rate, I'm even more convinced now that my dreams are telling me I was a superhero in a past life.

See, in this latest dream, Mr. Honey and I were Luke and Leia from Star Wars. And we were hiding from the bad guys. So we had some friends who were helping us, and every time we got to a new place, which was inevitably a bedroom, our friends would come to us and tell us that we needed to move on, that it wasn't safe to stay in one place. And so, Mr. Honey/Luke and I/Leia would move on to the next bedroom, where the process would repeat itself over and over again.

Aside from the whole "further proof that I was once a superhero" thing, I think this dream indicates that I believe one day Mr. Honey will live up to his dream of being Han Solo. He just has to go through the phase of being Luke Skywalker first. Or, it could mean that when we watched the last fifteen minutes of "V is for Vendetta" while we were in Savannah a week or so back, my mind subconsciously started thinking about Natalie Portman in Star Wars, which led to it following the path back to the original Star Wars movies (as in the ones that were made first, not the ones that come first in the story's chronological order), and at the same time I was reading a book about people climbing into bedrooms, and so I linked the two together to create an entirely new storyline that only made sense to me while I was unconscious. And some people think I'm normal... can you imagine?

Likes and Dislikes

2007-05-25T09:24:00.000-04:00

What makes Honey happy: job prospects for when we move in a couple months

What makes Honey unhappy: flying with a head cold to an interview (Pleased to meet you, sir and ma'am. A-choo! Would you like to shake my hand and offer me a job? A-choo!)

Happy: Car upgrades. Mitsubishi Eclipse for a day, anyone? Vroom vroom vroom!

Unhappy: Jack Sparrow Maps. (You know, ones that don't point north, or worse yet, that do point north, but only some of the time.)

Happy: Not getting lost anyway

Unhappy: Being away from Mr. Honey and the kittens

Happy: Coming home to Mr. Honey and the kittens

Unhappy: Airport human traffic (don't congregate in the middle of the aisles, people!) and rush hour car traffic (do you really think the left shoulder of the road was made for you to use in traffic jams while the rest of us sit patiently and wait for you to kick up dirt, rocks, and tire treads onto our non-moving vehicles while you use any horizontal surface available to fly past us and leave us hating you?) making the drive home twice as long as it should be.

Happy: Delta. Love 'em or hate 'em as an airline, I live for the free Biscoff cookies they serve in flight.

Unhappy: Not flying Delta, which is exactly how I flew this week, and thus only being offered pretzels.

Happy: I didn't pay for the ticket

Unhappy: I also didn't ask if they could give me a root beer, which would've been fantastic for the burping on the descent back into the airport, which could very well have cleared my ears when chewing gum and inhaling nasal sprays didn't work

Happy: It's Friday

Happy: It's my last Friday at my current job

Happy: I'm wearing a Life is Good t-shirt under a Hawaiian shirt

Happy: It's a slow day, so I'm also reading a romance novel at work

Happy: It's a 3-day weekend

Happy Memorial Day Weekend!

Quote of the Week

2007-05-24T21:22:00.000-04:00

Honey: "I don't want to work for a living. I just want to get paid for making people happy."

Mr. Honey: "You should be a stripper."

It's a good thing I love that man's sense of humor. :)
Sorry for the short hiatus - real life has reared its ugly head this week. If I get a few spare moments at work tomorrow, I'll elaborate. Happy almost Memorial Day Weekend!

Let's snark about manners

2007-05-18T09:44:00.000-04:00

Has anybody else noticed a distinct lack of manners in the world lately? Or is it just me?

I got chewed out yesterday by someone at work who wasn't clear in his request for what he wanted in the first place, who then wanted to yell when I provided him with an option he didn't like. Why is it easier to throw a fit than to politely ask for the changes you need made?

I thought poor manners were perhaps restricted to those entities in life we call "drivers." It's easy to get frustrated with some nameless, faceless person in the green truck who cuts you off in rush hour traffic, when the only thing that suffers is your own blood pressure and possibly the brakes on your car. But now we've taken it and made it personal, to the point that you can get snarly with anyone you want because you've got the freedom of speech and the world has taught you that You are Special and You are the Most Important Person. Yep, You are a MIP. And the world needs to know it.

A few months back, the Associated Press did a report on today's fresh crop of college students. The basic premise of the report is that today's college students have been raised to have the highest levels of self-esteem ever seen. Fantastic, right? We all feel good about ourselves. Woo-hoo! But what's it do for society as a whole when individuals feel that they're better than everybody else? Less productive team work. Less empathy for the plight of your fellow man. Shorter relationships. In short, a society of individuals who care less about helping each other than any previous generation.

I think this is directly related to bad manners. Think about it. If I'm the most important person in the world, why should I lower myself to speak with kindness to anyone? Then they might get this big head and start thinking they're more important than me, and we just can't have that, can we? Because of course you all recognize that I'm the most important person. That's what makes you my friends. Oh, sorry, what were we talking about? Oh, yeah. Manners.

Please. Thank you. How much time does it take to say these words? How much thought does it take to mean them? Manners might not be the ultimate solution that leads to world peace, but they can certainly lead to peace in our little sphere of the planet.

What do you think about manners?

Split down the middle

2007-05-14T08:59:00.000-04:00

Mr. Honey and I were sitting in the living room Saturday afternoon while the kittens ran around like they'd been dipping their paws into the catnip again. He was playing Pirates and I was dutifully watching and doing some back-seat navigation for him (Go to that island next! Get your next quest before you talk to the governor! Ooh, she's hot - dance with her and she'll give you a gift!).

So Mr. Honey's in the middle of a sea battle with another ship, probably Spanish since it's just so darn easy to pick on the Spanish in Pirates, when we heard this horrific CLINK!! in the kitchen/dining room area. "Your cats did it," Mr. Honey said without taking his eyes off the screen.

I pulled myself up off the couch to go investigate, and what did I find? The cats had actually broken one of their food bowls. It had split cleanly in two, right down the center. The hard surface that they slammed the bowl into to cause it to break? That would be their water bowl, which is just fine, aside from the fact that all the water sloshed out of the water bowl and coated the food and broken bowl.

"Your cats broke their food bowl," I called to Mr. Honey.

So I cleaned it all up and made the mistake of throwing it in the trash, but not taking it outside. Four hours later, I walked into the kitchen and thought the cats had pooped on the floor. Nope, turns out the smell was just cuz their food smells bad when it festers in water in the trash. Eeew.

Have your animals ever broken their food bowls before?

Eight Things...

2007-05-10T09:15:00.000-04:00

Aura tagged me to write about my random facts and habits.

Here are the rules:
1. Each player starts with eight random facts/habits about themselves. (Oh, boy...)
2. People who are tagged need to write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules. (Check.)
3. At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names. (Gah! Noooooo!!!)
4. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.

And now for my randomness:

1. When I was in fifth grade, I got to play the Virgin Mary in my school's Christmas play. I sang a solo. Not a single person complimented me afterwards. So, I sang louder in church from then on.

2. Mr. Honey and I did the whole long-distance dating thing for a year and a half. We lived in the same town for a total of 5 months (2 one summer, 3 the next) before getting married.

3. I held the title of "Sandwich Artist" when I worked at Subway in high school. I worked there for one year and nine months. It's the second-longest job I've ever held in my life.

4. Since graduating college six years ago, I've had six different jobs, and I'm searching for my seventh.

5. I've lived in five different states, and am about to move to my sixth.

6. I was raised to believe that cats are the spawn of the devil. Now I look forward to getting home and having mine meet me at the door.

7. I'm a leg-shaker. Yep, one of those annoying people who can't sit still for anything. Well, not at work anyway.

8. My favorite restaurant in the whole world is a pie shop in Rolla, Missouri, called "A Slice of Pie." They make the best chicken salad, the best warm rolls, and the best pie.

Crack McGraw

2007-05-08T08:22:00.000-04:00

I listen to country music. Call it today's version of yesterday's pop. Call it the influence of the south. Call it going to college in backwoods Missouri where the top three things to do for fun were cow-tipping, 2 AM Walmart runs, and line dancing. Whatever the reason, I listen to country music. And most of the time, I like it.

Tim McGraw's newest song, Last Dollar, however, is country music's answer to the Disney tune, "It's a Small World," and I can honestly say my life would've been complete without ever having had it run through my head for ten days straight and counting. I fall asleep hearing, "One, two, three, like a bird I sing," and wake up to, "I'm so glad you're here today, cuz tomorrow I might have to go and fly away." And then the little kids chime in, and then the weird electronic verse happens, and then it repeats itself. All. Day. Long.

So I got into my car this morning to go to work, and I turned on the radio, and of course, it's playing. But then the song ended, and the DJ's, Big D and Bubba, made a big hullaballoo (this is country music, after all) about not knowing what in the world the song was about. So somebody called in and said, "Ask Big Kenny. He wrote it." Big Kenny, if you're not familiar with country music, is one half of the duo Big and Rich (Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy, anybody?). So the DJ's called Big Kenny, and I learned something today.

According to Big Kenny, he wrote the song in Vegas when he was down to his last dollar, facing eviction from his apartment and not being able to pay his electric bill. So, he wrote a song about how when you're down to nothing, you've got nothing left to lose. Pretty cool, huh?

But it didn't help get the song out of my mind. I wish I had some mental peanut butter to clear up that little subconscious hiccup.

How to Start a Monday Morning

2007-05-07T08:44:00.000-04:00

Forget to pull the towels out of the dryer Sunday night, so you can flip the dryer back on Monday morning right before you get in the shower. Then convince your spouse/significant other/children to bring the toasty warm towel into the bathroom just as you're ready to dry off... heaven.

If that doesn't work, make yourself pancakes and refuse to share. After all, it's Monday. You deserve some happiness today.

Kitty Pics!!!

2007-05-03T08:25:00.000-04:00

It's been a while.... and they've gotten big! I estimate Saffron weighs 8.5 pounds now, and Jinx is about 8 pounds. I miss my little 1.5-pound furballs. :)

Saffron, helping with the laundry

Jinx, chilling out in her favorite spot

Snuggle Kitties at bedtime!

Saffron's favorite place in the house... unfortunately

Jinx curls up for a cat nap

"No, Saffron, I don't know why Jinxie's feet are up like that, either. Yes, she's a silly kitty."

Sleepy Jinx

Peek-a-boo!

"Why, yes, this is comfy. Thanks for asking."

"Who, me? A bookworm?"

"Look at the squirrels! Look at the birds! Look at the leaves! They're all lucky we're stuck in here."

"Puuuurrrrrrrrr..."

"Yes, Jinx, I make a good pillow. Heck, I make a good mattress, too."

Oh, to be young again...

2007-05-02T08:29:00.000-04:00

Last month, Mr. Honey and I flew to DC for a visit with friends. While we were in the Atlanta airport, we came across a Life is Good store. I just love Life is Good shirts and pants!! And the snuggle socks, too. I try to wear them to work at least once a week. They make me smile because they're comfy and cute. But enough of the commercial.

We'd literally stopped at another store on the way to the airport, where I exchanged some pajama pants I'd bought over my birthday weekend. My original pajama pants were brown with coffee mugs on them, but I exchanged them for some bright yellow pants with suns on them. I figure you can't be cranky in the morning if your pants are yelling at you. At least, I can't. So when we walked into the airport Life is Good store, and I saw a matching baby-doll t-shirt, I had to have it. Mr. Honey helped me find my size, he bought it for me, I showed off my bright striped snuggle socks to the clerk, and we went off on our merry way.

Two days later, I tried the shirt on. It was kinda tight, but Mr. Honey insisted he loved it. (Of course.) It's stretched out a bit the last couple weeks, and now it's my perfect sleep shirt. It's so soft and bright and pretty and soft... and, as I discovered last night, it's also meant for little girls. We'd grabbed it from the wrong stack when we were in the airport.

So now, I'm thankful that I'm really not such a big-boned woman that a normal-sized baby-doll t-shirt won't fit me. And Mr. Honey has just discovered a neat new trick to get me to wear tighter clothing. Hopefully I'll at least get a single shirt my size out of the deal. ;)

Truth vs. Fiction

2007-04-30T10:25:00.000-04:00

Doesn't this story just scream "Romance Novel Plot" to you?

In a nutshell, a groom in India got really drunk, and so the bride's family refused to let him wed their daughter. Instead, the groom's younger brother got to marry the bride.

I can't stand the regular network news anymore, but I live for stories like this one. :)

Happy Monday!

Who knew?

2007-04-23T10:29:00.000-04:00

I discovered yesterday that one of my kittens has a superpower. I never knew wearing a tuxedo would give Jinx such an amazing calling in life. She's like James Bond in kitten form, except she doesn't need a silly Aston Martin or the latest in technology. All her power is self-contained.

It's not the ninja-fu that my kitten has mastered that makes her a superstar. True, she and Saffron both have the amazing ability of being able to ninja-chop their food and scamper after it as it slides across the floor, then pounce with kitty agility and eat it all up. They've taught themselves to bounce off the walls, Matrix-style, when running through the hallways, which never fails to crack us up. They fly to the top of their cat tree with nimble claws, the sounds reaching our ears only after they're safely perched on top of their worlds, surveying their dominion. But that's not Jinx's superpower either.

Not at all.

My kitten is a super-drooler.

I'd suspected this for a while, but I had yet to catch her in the act of performing her superpower. I'd notice the side effects, the wet drops on my arms after holding her while she was half-asleep and purring contentedly in my arms, but I never definitively saw the source. Yesterday, my suspicions were confirmed.

She'd crawled into my arms as I sat on our love seat, attempting to write. Within seconds, she'd made it clear with a little whimper and a purr, that my job was not to write, but to hold the kitty while she napped. And then I felt the drop.

"I think she just drooled on me," I told Mr. Honey. He grunted, as he was preoccupied with saving the world on X-Box.

A moment later, I felt another drop, so I bent over my kitten and stared at her. She looked back at me, a giant drop of drool protruding from the apex of her little kitty lips, growing larger by the second, until it plopped down onto my arm and was replaced by another drop.

"She is drooling!" I exclaimed. Mr. Honey merely smiled and went back to shooting things.

So, there you have it. My kitten, my Jinx, is a superhero. She can drool with the best of them.

Just the fax, ma'am

2007-04-18T08:29:00.000-04:00

I was sitting at my desk yesterday, minding my own business, when one of the guys walked up to me and peered at my copier/printer/faxer. "Did I get a fax this morning?" he asked.

I shook my head. "Haven't seen any come through, and nothing was sitting there when I got here," I told him.

He frowned. "But that guy told me there was a fax waiting for me. He must be a liar." Then he got this introspective look on his face. "You know what they say about liars," he said gravely.

I kinda just stared at him. I had no idea what "they" say about liars. "What?"

His nose went up a little. "I don't know. I assumed you did."

So I thought about it for a minute, and the light of brilliant inspiration shone down on me, illuminating my office with its punishing light. "Sure," I said. "They say, 'Never trust a liar with the fax.'"

It'll be a long time before we all recover from that one.

Love/Hate DVD's

2007-04-17T01:31:00.000-04:00

Mr. Honey and I watched a couple movies over the weekend. Loved both movies, didn't love both DVD's.

First was Happy Feet. We net-flixed it, and it arrived last week, but we didn't get to it until Saturday night. Finally, I got to see my cute little animated penguins dancing and singing. Woo-hoo! Very cute movie. Mr. Honey wants to buy it. But the DVD itself? VERY disappointing special features. Did they have any cast interviews? Noo-ooo. Did they have a "Making of Happy Feet" documentary? Noo-ooo. Did they show the cast party where the hottie who voiced Memphis held up a sign declaring his undying love for Ms. Honey? Nooo-oooo. I want my Hugh Jackman footage, darn it! (I love you and only you, Mr. Honey. This is one of those silly girl things, I promise.)

The other was Casino Royale, the latest James Bond film. For the record, because of my age, Pierce Brosnan is the only James Bond I've ever known. Also for the record, I absolutely loved Daniel Craig in this role. He was totally James Bond. I'm sold. We watched it Sunday night and both enjoyed the movie a great deal, and we agreed that Daniel Craig was a fantastic choice for Bond. But the special features were all on a separate disc or something, so we didn't even try to see them. I wasn't as disappointed as I was with the Happy Feet lack-of-special-features, but there's a good reason for that. You can replace Pierce Brosnan, but I'll never love James Bond the way I love Hugh.

(Hush, Mr. Honey. You've got Kate Beckinsale, and we both know it.)

Why I Love My Job

2007-04-16T08:56:00.000-04:00

On a Monday morning, before 9 AM, I get to locate table clothes for a lunchtime meeting, and be treated like a goddess for knowing exactly where they are.

On a Monday morning, before 9 AM, I get to crawl under tables in my storage area to dig out a box of creamer.

On a Monday morning, before 9 AM, I get to walk on tables in my stocking feet in order to reset the projectors. Seriously. It's like table dancing at work.

This particular Monday morning, I was too much of a wimp to go outside in 40-degree weather to take my morning walk, so I love my job because it has given me the opportunity to get my exercise in anyway. Life is so good.

Happy Friday!

2007-04-13T09:21:00.000-04:00

It has come to the attention of the Honey Daily News that today is an official world holiday: "Blame Someone Else Day." The Honey Daily News decided to create this holiday when the theme of the day became clear, around 8:14 AM Eastern Time, when the man with no eyebrows insisted that he had, too, turned in the temporary badge he borrowed last week, when there is no record of the badge's return and no badge to prove his claim, which led to the declaration that it must be the poor receptionist's temporary replacement who was to blame, because of course it couldn't be the fault of the man with no eyebrows that the badge he borrowed has not yet been returned to its proper place, nor could it be the fault of the receptionist, as she was away vacationing and having a monumental time during the time of the disappearance of the badge.

However, upon performing a bit of research, the Honey Daily News has discovered that not only had Someone Else already invented "Blame Someone Else Day," but it is, in actuality, occurring today.

The Honey Daily News interviewed several witnesses to this morning's definitive example of Blame Someone Else Day, and all reported it was someone else's fault that the man with no eyebrows had somehow discovered this obscure holiday and used it to his advantage. The Honey Daily News knows better, however. For some people, every day is Blame Someone Else Day.

Today, though, the Honey Daily News will blame the pollen, and the creepiness factor of inventing a holiday on a day on which it has already been invented, for its desire to take the rest of the day off and ponder the strange coincidences of life.

Coincidences, by the way, are always someone else's fault.

Thought for the day

2007-04-12T09:51:00.000-04:00

Does a man's manhood have to be straining his jeans in order for him to be sexy?

I've got my own thoughts on the subject, but I'm curious what everyone else thinks.

Oh, and a quick clarification - I was exaggerating in yesterday's post. I don't really know anyone who sprouted trees in their lungs.

Farewell, Cruel World

2007-04-11T08:13:00.000-04:00

Well, it's not looking good here in Georgia. The longer we go without rain, the more convinced I am that I'm being poisoned. Yep, that's right. Darwinism is alive and well in this grand state, and it's taking the form of pollen poisoning.

Seriously, people, I saw a guy walking around the other day hacking up a cloud of pollen. A male coworker told me he watched pollen clouds blow over a field much like dust would during a drought in the midwest. And then there was the lady I work with who went in for a lung scan and came back in tears. Seems she needs surgery to remove the trees that have sprouted in her lungs. Doc said she'll probably make it, but she shouldn't inhale pollen for at least two weeks after the surgery. She's making plans to move to the city. She'd rather die by smog.

Green is pretty, but I'm getting awful tired of it. Itchy eyes, scratchy throats, and congested sinuses are making everyone cranky. Mother Nature, if you're listening, can you please send some rain to wash away all this pollen?

The Problem...

2007-04-10T07:25:00.000-04:00

... with sitting next to a bathroom.

Sometimes, you hear strange noises.

And you really, really don't want to know who made them. I have to work with these people. I don't need to know whose butt is the loudest.

Times like these, I hope they don't walk by my desk on their way back to their offices.

Times like these, I make a mental note to not make those noises myself.

Do any of you have coworkers who make bad noises?

Weekend Highlights

2007-04-09T10:07:00.000-04:00

Mr. Honey and I spent a long weekend in D.C., visiting friends and hanging out and eating a lot and generally making quote-of-the-week worthy comments. Some highlights:

"I guess fruit isn't a highly-stolen item."
--Mr. Honey, upon emerging from the airplane Wednesday evening to find all the little kiosks and stands closed down, except for 3 baskets of apples, bananas, and oranges, standing there for all the world to indulge in.

"That was quite a monumental morning."
--Me, Thursday morning, after we walked from the metro stop to the Washington Monument, World War II Memorial, signers of the Declaration of Independence Memorial, Vietnam War Memorial, Lincoln Monument, Korean War Memorial, World War I Memorial, Tulip Library, and halfway to the Jefferson Monument.

"Is she drunk?"
"Well, she did just drink a root beer..."
--Mr. Honey and one of our friends discussing my goofy state of mind after a serious sugar buzz. I can't even remember the last time I had three carbonated beverages over a weekend.

"Do you smell brown sugar?"
--Me again, after every mulch bed we passed. I'm not kidding - it smelled like brown sugar!

"I swear, I'm about to just hand you my camera and bend over."
--Yes, me, once again, this time sticking my foot in my mouth in front of one of Mr. Honey's friends as we walked past yet another mulch bed and I once again smelled brown sugar. Since I'd told Mr. Honey a bit earlier that I wanted to lean down and smell the mulch, and he'd responded that I'd better hand over my camera so he could get that on film, I mistakenly assumed he'd understand that I was going to sniff the mulch at ground level to verify that it was the source of the brown sugar smell. Seriously, who's ever heard of mulch smelling like brown sugar? It's just not natural.

"I smell it, too!"
--One of our dear friends, who later in the weekend smelled the brown sugar smell as we walked past more mulch beds.

Hope you all had a fabulous Easter Weekend!

Asses

2007-03-28T13:25:00.000-04:00

I mentioned to Mr. Honey at lunch today that I have dealings at work occasionally with this guy who's just an ass. But when I assured Mr. Honey that he's in no way ever been as much of an ass as this guy, Mr. Honey got offended. So that made me wonder, what's with men and being asses?

So then I realized it's a recurring theme in my life. Sort of. See, in my current wip, I've thought about having my hero mention to my heroine that all guys who are asses know that they're asses, and they're generally proud of it. But why is this?

Is it a guy thing to be an ass? Is it a sign of their machoness that they can be the biggest ass on the block? I think there should be a law that if your personality has too much ass, your body shouldn't be allowed any. Er, any good-looking ass, that is. I wouldn't mind if more asses had asses as big as their ass-egos. Then you could see them coming.

For the record, yes, Mr. Honey can be an ass. But overall he's a great guy, and I accept the ass-ness because his good qualities outweight the assy qualities. But I suppose I should ask for Mr. Honey's sake that you not tell any of his friends that I told you so. Might ruin his ass-putation.

Note to Self

2007-03-27T14:33:00.000-04:00

Remove lid from pitcher before attempting to dump ice into said pitcher.

The same procedure applies for all pictures and all forms of ingestable liquid, also to include their solid states. Gaseous states are excluded, but only because humanoids rarely drink gases from pitchers.

Idiots Vacuuming

2007-03-20T08:00:00.000-04:00

In today's version of the Honey Daily News, which we've learned should really be called the Sporadic Honey News, we take you to Honey's Harrowing House of Employment, where the janitorial service was recently replaced by a new housecleaning team. This intrepid reporter discovered that it's never a good idea to mix business and friendship, especially when other bad judgement is involved.

As it turns out, the janitorial service was sacked (the reigning kings of the mop and dustrag weren't in the back pockets of the building owners as the newly crowned service is), but not the maids themselves. Thus, the change was management-based, and the new management couldn't stomach forcing 2 incompetent maids to join the unemployment lines. The day after the managerial menagerie, witnesses at Honey's Harrowing House of Employment reported no change in the building conditions. After three weeks of dusty floors and dirty glass, the new janitorial management is baffled. "But I raised their pay and talked to them," the glassy-eyed friend of the building owners and new boss of the maids told the receptionist. "I talked to them. I just don't understand why they're not wiping down all the horizontal surfaces and vacuuming the carpets."

The receptionist is reported to have smiled sympathetically and offered an encouraging, "It's just so hard to find good help these days," when the new cleaning boss asked her how the building looked. The Honey Daily News was unable to convince the receptionist to vocalize her true feelings on the subject, but the impression of this intrepid reporter was that she was not impressed with the new management's decision to hire the same people who got the last management fired.

In other news, Honey's cats have both turned green as a result of sitting too close to an open window. Damn pollen. Happy Spring.

Southern Fried Mr. Honey

2007-03-19T08:48:00.000-04:00

Mr. Honey and I were standing in our computer room this morning before work, just looking at our sleeping kittens. Jinx had curled up on my chair, and Saffron was asleep in Mr. Honey's chair. After an interesting night where half the night I couldn't roll over without flinging a kitten across the room, since they were both passed out between my knees, and the other half of the night having weird dreams about killer kitties and dead palmetto bugs, thanks to Saffron's first encounter with the beastly bugs at 2 AM this morning, I was incredibly jealous of the day they obviously had planned.

"They love you so much," Mr. Honey said. And I'd have to agree. Jinx and I have a morning routine of me carrying her around for a few minutes while she purrs and kneads on the inside of my elbow, and Saffron likes to weave around my ankles wherever I go in the house.

"It's so sweet. You're their queen," Mr. Honey continued. Then he sighed deeply, as though resigning himself to his fate of being less-than-the-queen, which we're both actually okay with, because neither of us wants him to dress up in velvet capes and adorn his head with the crown jewels of kittydom. "I'm just their bubba."

And this, ladies and gentlemen, is yet another example of why it's going to be so very good for us to move back north this summer.

Rite of Spring in the South

2007-03-16T08:25:00.000-04:00

We got a nice spring shower last night. I just love the smell of the rain right after it first hits the ground. It's all fresh and clean and, well, rainy-smelling.

This morning, on my morning walk, I came across several puddles that looked like sidewalk chalk run-off, as though all the neighbor kids had all been out drawing pictures on their driveways last night and the rain washed it all down to the street. But after 3 or 4 driveways, I realized it wasn't sidewalk chalk. It's pollen. Icky, nasty, turn-your-cars-green and plug-your-sinuses pollen.

I should've realized right away what it was. After all, Mr. Honey gave our cars their first pollen rinse-off of the season yesterday afternoon. The cherry blossom and pear trees have been in full bloom, which is absolutely gorgeous to the eyes but cringe-inducing for the nasal passages. Too bad we can't have gorgeous flowers without the pollen.

Anybody got any big weekend plans?

Cheater Cheater

2007-03-15T08:56:00.000-04:00

This whole audio book thing has opened my eyes to who I really am: a Cheat Reader.

Despite the fact that I'm listening to the book, rather than reading it in paper and ink format, I find myself itching to flip forward a few pages to see what happens. To peek near the end, presumably to see how many pages long the book is, knowing I'll "accidentally" spy that happily ever after, to remind myself that the payoff is coming. Or I'll steal 3 minutes of reading time in between my shower and the time I have to leave for work in the morning, knowing I can re-read if I want, but not wanting to manipulate my iPod to rewind those three minutes once I get home again tonight and have time to devote all my attention to it. So I know what's coming. Because I can't wait to just let it happen all on its own.

It just gets worse every day. First I discover I'm a book whore, then I find I'm a cheat reader. It's a wonder I can live with myself.

P.S. Today's another holiday - Happy Ides of March! Why we celebrate Caesar's death-by-betrayal is beyond me, but if you've got a Little Caesar's nearby, why not pop in for a celebratory pizza lunch? That's what we always did in Latin class in high school, anyway. Yummy.
Er, maybe that's supposed to be Beware the Ides... I'll let you decide.

Happy Pi Day!

2007-03-14T09:36:00.000-04:00

Happy Pi Day! The geek in me demands a celebration, and so we'll commence with mathematical problems involving circumferences and areas of circles shortly.

For the less geeky out there, I should probably explain that today, March 14, written 3-14 in the US, is called Pi Day because pi is approximately 3.14. In engineering school, I knew a guy who told his girlfriend he wanted all his children to be born on Pi Day. We went so far as to calculate the exact time she'd have to deliver his kids in order to extend pi out to more precise digits... but there's no need to go into that today.

You can go here for more information.

I'll be back tomorrow, probably with a math hangover.

Best Birthday Gift Ever - Or So Mr. Honey Thinks

2007-03-13T09:10:00.000-04:00

For my birthday last week, Ellen, being the sweetheart that she is, bought me a copy of Susan Elizabeth Phillips' Natural Born Charmer in audiobook format. I downloaded it into my iPod, and Mr. Honey and I listened to the first half of it in the car over the weekend.

Once we got home, there was real work to be done. I tackled laundry while Mr. Honey went back to work on his masters classes. While I was wandering around the house doing basic housework, I had my iPod on and I started the second half of the story.

Last night, after dinner, I picked up the iPod again, and then realized my hands had nothing to do. I'm not a sit-and-do-nothing kind of person, so I folded the laundry while I listened. Once that was done, I wanted to listen to the book more, but I was kinda tired after the whole sleepwalking incident the night before, not to mention the effects of the weekend and daylight savings time. I figured if I just laid down on the bed to listen, I'd fall asleep, even though it was only 7:45 PM. Yep, I was that tired. So, instead of sitting still, I cleaned the bathroom.

I was halfway through when Mr. Honey realized what I was doing, even though I hardly noticed that I was scrubbing the toilet, because the book is that entertaining. He gave me the "turn off your story, I have something to say" gesture, so I paused the book. He grinned. "Looks like we need to get you more audiobooks."

So today, I say, "Thank you, Ellen, for giving me a pleasant way to clean my house." It might even sparkle before Natural Born Charmer is over. First time in a long time it'll be that clean, and we don't even have company coming over.

Walking after Midnight

2007-03-12T08:20:00.000-04:00

Mr. Honey and I spent the weekend in Charleston, SC, this weekend, visiting with a friend we haven't seen in a while. We did our share of overeating, barhopping, and driving, plus we got to take a horse-drawn carriage tour of downtown yesterday morning. There are some beautiful homes in Charleston, and Mr. Honey and I would both like to go back sometime and explore more of the area. As it was, we didn't have a lot of time for sightseeing. (BTW, I subjected him to the audio version of Susan Elizabeth Phillips' Natural Born Charmer in the car, and we're both loving it. He's mad at me now because I listened to another couple chapters on my own while I was doing laundry and cooking dinner.)

We got home yesterday afternoon around 5, went right to work doing laundry and unpacking, goofed off a bit, and finally got to bed around 10:30 last night.

Sometime in the middle of the night, I found myself standing outside a barn, waiting for someone to pass a kitten to me through a window overhead. As I reached to take it, I woke up and found myself with my hand wrapped around this chinese lantern-type wall sconce we have hanging over the bed.

I promptly dropped my hand, which caused the sconce to jump all around like it was alive, and the tealight inside it pinged and rattled and then jumped out to slide down the side of the wall. The kittens both jumped up, Jinx meowing and Saffron just looking for some attention. Mr. Honey jerked awake, too., and I was left explaining that once again, I'd been caught in a weird position in the middle of the night because of this weird tendency I have to sorta almost sleepwalk sometimes.

Mr. Honey's known about this special talent of mine for years. It's caused some weird crap in our lives. There was that time we were up late packing for a 6 AM flight to my best friend's wedding the next day, and we went to bed exhausted and then each woke up on the opposite side of the bed the next morning. And then there's the doozy of all dream/sleepwalk combos - the one where in my dreams, Mr. Honey's about to bite the big one, and only I can save him, if I can make my body move and my mouth work to warn him.

See, I was having this dream that Mr. Honey and I were walking through a castle, when out of nowhere, these axes started swinging from the cathedral ceiling. They were pendulums of doom, and Mr. Honey was about to get his head chopped off. So, I did what any sane, normal person would've done. I screamed. It might've been something like "Look out!" or it might've been just one of those horror-movie scared female yelps, but whatever I did, it was enough to wake Mr. Honey for real. He sat up, and I promptly yelled, "Don't sit up!" Mr. Honey, being used to taking orders from me, dropped down to his back and stared up at the ceiling, heart racing, taking stock of the situation. And then he realized I was dreaming, so he politely woke me up and assured me we were in no mortal danger. *sigh* My hero.

Did everybody else have a good weekend?

Three Meetings and a Bake Sale

2007-03-08T08:52:00.000-05:00

I've been swamped at work this week. 3 big conferences all week, together with the little meeting here and there, and a bake sale to raise funds for Relay for Life, all combined have kept me hopping. I've passed out by 9 at least twice this week, and I've been having the weird dreams again.

Yesterday morning in my dream, I sneezed. Except it wasn't a normal sneeze. My nose had turned into a snot volcano. And it wouldn't stop. I thought I was going to drown. Tissues were no help. I was suffocating. And then I woke up. Thank goodness my nose was normal for real.

The other day, I dreamed Mr. Honey and I were moving to Germany. That was fun, but I don't know German, and I knew I'd be in over my head for a while.

This morning, I dreamed I was going to gym class. Yep, it was a "gone back to school" dream. The gym was in my old dorm room at college. And I was late, and I had a hard time getting the right equipment, and just as I thought I had it all, I realized the person who'd been helping me had really been doing nothing more than sabotaging all my efforts. Such a warm fuzzy feeling, you know?

Yesterday I had another dream that Mr. Honey and I were driving across the country. We got to a town where the hotels were across the river, and I looked down and realized our car had run out of gas. That wasn't freaky, until Mr. Honey commented at lunch yesterday that the low-fuel light had come on in the car on his way home.

So I figure the dreams are all happening because I'm feeling overwhelmed at work this week. I can't imagine why. Really, getting into work at 8 on a Thursday morning, and being told at 8:30 that someone has a complaint against me for not doing my job, is such a happy, comforting feeling. I love knowing that hard as I work, juggling everyone else's schedules and meetings and travel arrangements and keeping the coffee pot filled and managing community service fundraiser, someone feels obligated to tell me I should've checked the entire box of guest badges to make sure each and every one works on each and every door in the building before handing them out. The worst part? There were too many people around to respond with, "Yeah, well I've got a complaint against you, too. You're an asshole." Maybe I'll dream that tonight, and feel all warm and fuzzy again tomorrow.

Who's a Super-Power Now?

2007-03-07T08:26:00.000-05:00

Last week, a foreign graduate student at my alma mater made a bomb and anthrax threat that closed the entire campus down for a day. He was arraigned on six felony charges this week. I'm sure the students at the University of Missouri-Rolla are celebrating that the St. Pat's festivities will not be affected as planned, but I personally think the causes and implications of this threat are much bigger than anyone may realize.

Here's the deal: this international student decided he was going to commit police-assisted suicide because he was depressed, and he figured making terrorist threats was the best method of accomplishing his goals. Why, exactly, was he depressed? If the news reports are accurate, it's because he got the first 2 B's of his entire life. At 22 years old, he'd never gotten anything other than straight A's, even through earning his bachelor's degree in civil engineering.

Makes you wonder, doesn't it? If international students are coming in, learning side by side with American students and getting depressed over GPAs that fall below 4.0 while so many of the American students champion such phrases as "C is for Complete, D is for Done, 2.0 and go," how much longer will the US remain a superpower in the world? It's a good thing grades don't count for everything in life. Also makes you wonder if there's a reason so many technical call centers are now manned overseas. But that's enough social commentary for me today.

Hope you all get to partake in some green beverages this weekend. If you're lucky, it won't be green orange juice. Speaking from experience, all I can say is "Bleh!"

Gotta Love Mr. Honey

2007-03-05T15:06:00.000-05:00

We were driving to the zoo yesterday when Mr. Honey turned to me and said, "I think we should give our kids goldfish so they'll learn about death."

I'll let you all know how that turns out. You know, in 15 years or so.

Spoiled Rotten

2007-03-04T20:58:00.000-05:00

Mr. Honey took me to Atlanta for my birthday this weekend. We went to the aquarium, took a trip to REI, ate at the most incredible restaurant I've ever been to, walked a real mall, saw a Tony-award winning musical at the theater, and then capped it all off with room service this morning and a trip to the zoo to see the baby panda. Life is definitely good. And did I mention Mr. Honey arranged a lunar eclipse, just for me?

I'd been to the Georgia Aquarium before, last summer with my friends Kristen and Aura. We had a good time then, and Mr. Honey and I enjoyed it this weekend as well. It was a little crowded for my tastes, and the otters were sleeping (they were incredibly amusing last summer), but it was good for Mr. Honey to see the aquarium before we leave Georgia.

Then we went to REI, which is Mr. Honey's favorite store in the whole entire world. He got himself a pair of shoes, and I got a pair of sandals, a pair of pants, and a workout shirt. I know - boring. I should've taken advantage of the fact that Mr. Honey wouldn't deny me a thing over my birthday weekend. Maybe I should've asked for a pony...

After checking into the hotel and taking a short nap, we headed up to Fogo de Chao, which is the most fantastic restaurant I think I've ever been to. It's a Brazilian place that offers meat, meat, and more meat, on top of the most sophisticated salad bar I've ever seen. They had fresh mozzerella on the salad bar! And triangles of swiss cheese! (Are you sensing a theme?) They also had these incredible fried bananas, and the service was the best we've ever had while on land. (Cruise ship service has always been exceptional, and we just assumed nothing in the States could ever top that. We may have been proven wrong.) But back to the meat - and oh, boy, was there meat! I think I ate a full pound of filet mignon. See, at Fogo, the servers bring around skewers of meat and carve off as much as you'd like, of anything you'd like, right there at your table. When all was said and done, I'm fairly certain I ate enough red meat to get me through the next two weeks. Yup, it hurt. But did I care? Heck, no! Calories don't count on your birthday. Especially when the wait staff writes "Happy Birthday" on the plate bearing your molten chocolate lava cake for a dessert that you really don't need and probably don't have room for, but are going to eat anyway because you don't get to eat at Fogo de Chao every night. It's been over 24 hours since I ate that, and I'm not sure I've been hungry since.

But moving on....

Mr. Honey and I took a trip to a real mall, which is quite a treat. After living in Minneapolis for a year, my standards are pretty high. Mall of America and all, you know? Middle Georgia can't compete. Atlanta can, though. We walked the Lenox Square Mall after dinner, and we even went into an Apple store! How cool is that? The sophistication might not wear off me for another 2 days, just for having gone into the store. Oh, no, wait. That's the side effects from dinner. My bad. (Oh, and for those who care about such things, the mall had a Coach store, a Burberry store, a Louis Viutton store, a Godiva store, and a Discovery Channel store. We don't get that sort of thing here in the boonies.)

After the mall, we went to the Fox Theater in downtown Atlanta. I love that theater - it's just so neat. The stage looks like it's set into an 18th-century castle, and the adornments all over are so cool. Plus the ceiling is lit to look like the sky, which is double cool in my estimation. Which reminds me, on the way to the Fox, Mr. Honey and I spied the lunar eclipse. Totally cool. And that Tony-award winning show we went to see?

Monty Python's Spamalot.

It. Was. Fabulous.

I laughed so hard in the first act, I thought my steak-filled belly was going to jiggle right out of me and fall to the floor. But it didn't. And the show was all that I've ever loved about Monty Python and more. Absolutely hilarious. And it was sheer luck that it was playing during my birthday weekend. We loved it.

This morning, we got up and went to the Atlanta Zoo and saw Mei Lan, the baby giant panda. (Anybody else think "baby giant panda" is funny?) She was sleeping, which wasn't a big surprise, considering Tai Shan was also sleeping when we saw him in DC last year. But she was cute, and I got within 20 feet of her (though she was behind a glass enclosure), so that's one more thing to check off my "must-do-before-we-move" list.

We made a trip to Whole Foods on our way out of town. I'd never been there before, so it was pretty cool, too. Just like a grocery store, only cooler. You could tell because they had those nifty double-decker hand-cart carrier things. Plus everything's organic. Way 21st century. ;)

Hope everyone else had a wonderful weekend!

Today's a Holiday

2007-03-03T07:37:00.000-05:00

I'm declaring today "National Check Your Blinker Day."

It's just so sad how many people's blinker lights are out, and they don't even realize it. Some people are even missing both blinker lights. It's a sad state of affairs. Take today, and remember your blinkers.

Happy Saturday!

The things Mr. Honey puts up with...

2007-02-22T14:04:00.000-05:00

The kittens and I are currently in a dominance fight over the bed. As a result, strange things happen in the bedroom during normal non-waking hours.

Take last night, for example. About 3 in the morning, I heard myself open my mouth and let loose a mighty fake snore. It was really good, let me tell you. All deep and nasal, and exceptionally loud. Lots of snorgle sounds. I figure I had a good reason for letting rip such an exceptional fake snore. Darned if I can remember what it was now. Equally strange was the fact that my nasal passages seem none the worse for it. From the sound of it, they should've at least been bleeding when I woke up this morning.

Anyway, after my polite little reminder that a) I was still in the room, and b) I was the alpha cat, I heard Mr. Honey say, "What was that?"

I vaguely remember giggling and saying, "Uh, me." And then I promptly fell back asleep. I woke up an hour later to rearrange my legs and the cats, and then slept, sort of, until my alarm didn't go off. But I still got up at a normal time.

So, poor Mr. Honey endured a not-so-restful night last night, thanks to me thinking I'm pretty snazzy with my fake snores, and me tossing and turning to rearrange the kittens. You'd think I'd treat a man who bought me 2 pounds of Godiva chocolates (on sale 40% off, no less) much better.

Quick! Grab that braincell!

2007-02-17T16:47:00.000-05:00

Mr. Honey and I went out to lunch today, and I swear it made me dumber.

There was a television in the corner of the room, tuned in to CNN. We were 2 of 4 customers in the restaurant, so we could clearly hear the news. And do you know what the top stories of the day were? Yup. Britney Spears and Anna Nicole Smith. Because, like, it's so obvious we haven't had enough news about them recently. And, like, there's nothing more important than news about, like, our younger generation's role models. 'Cuz we all know all the little girls in this country want to grow up to marry rich octogenarians or fertile losers. They all want to pose naked in magazines. They all want to be interviewed by the major news networks who will later ask, "Where did things go wrong?" As if they could want anything else!

So, in the spirit of the day, Mr. Honey and I didn't wear our seatbelts on the drive home, we leaned out the windows and yelled, "WAZZZZUUUUUUPP!" every time we passed a cop or a senior citizen, and we blared classical music from the speakers in our little Corolla. We were pimpin' it, dudes. I could seriously use those braincells back. (For the record, I don't consider that to be breaking my new year's resolution on giving up celebrity gossip. I haven't clicked a single story online, I swear.)

In other news, the quote of the week from about 3 weeks ago was never fully resolved. It was kinda lame, so I don't blame you for not tuning in to find out who said it, but I'll tell you anyway now.
Mr. Honey and I were watching The Longest Yard. There's a line in the movie, something about "Hot dogs and high powered rifles, that's something you don't see everyday," and Mr. Honey repeated it, then shouted, "That's it! That should be your quote of the week."
So I gave him one of those looks and said, "The quote of the week has to be something one of us said.
At that point, he gave me one of his own looks and said, "I just said it!" And hence, the quote of the week from many moons ago. :)

Hope everyone has a fabulous weekend!

V-day Curse

2007-02-14T13:37:00.000-05:00

A man blew up his house today while trying to singe the edges of the Valentine's card he'd so lovingly planned out for his dearest sweet Sweetheart. He survived, yet his eyebrows did not fare as well. Nor did his date for the evening, who told the Honey Daily News, "I realize now I was dating a moron."

The lovely lady, who asked that we not reveal her true identity, elaborated further, saying, "Jeez, we've only been dating since Sunday. He proposed to his last 2 wives on Valentine's Day, and he was planning to do the same to me, but I wasn't born yesterday. Hopefully he's learned his lesson and proposes to the next girl on Easter."

When asked if she had any signs just how smitten the man was, she replied, "Yeah. So dang smitten he sent 4 women to deliver roses to me. If he wanted me to go gay, that's a good way to do it, having women deliver my Valentine gift over the course of the day."

As the Honey Daily News was involved in this sickening display of too-soon lovey-dovey behavior, we have cut the rest of this news story short. We hope you're having a better Valentine's Day wherever you may be, and that your bosses don't involve you unnecessarily in their misguided V-Day plans. Tune in next time, when the Honey Daily News reports on weird delivery men in the workplace.

Kitty Signs of the Apocolypse

2007-02-11T09:12:00.000-05:00

My cats are speaking in tongues. The end must be near.

No kidding, I was just sitting here in my home office, minding my own business, with the door shut so they can't get in here and jump on my back (Jinx is having "mommy issues" and has this constant need to be reassured we still love her), when I heard the strangest cry out in the hallway. It sounded remarkably like, "Mommy, don't you love me? Why, why, why?" Seriously. It's worse than the talking water bottles.

I know they're only using this strange meow sound to get my attention. Like when I get up in the morning, and Jinx isn't done snuggling yet. I walk out of the bathroom and find her sitting on my pillow, staring at me with that accusatory glare that only cats know how to use. "How could you leave this nice, warm bed where we were snuggling, Mom? Now I'm going to cry and meow until you pick me up so I can purr in your arms so you know you're forgiven. I'll probably knead on you and lick you clean, too, but don't you dare come near me with those claw trimmers."

Today was different, though. Today I vowed I would not give in to the kitten manipulation. So I turned my back on Jinx as she was meowing, bent over, and turned the scale on. She leapt from the bed and jumped onto my back. I shooed her off, then turned to put my pajamas under my pillow. She decided to climb onto my arm with her front legs, and then lift her back legs off the bed, forcing me to catch her before she tumbled upside down to the floor. Yes, I know she's a cat. I know she would've landed on her feet, and I know it was only 3 feet to the ground. But she's playing with my maternal instincts. And now one of them is sitting outside my office crying out in tongues. I think I'm kitty-whipped.

Got Name Tagged...

2007-02-05T10:46:00.000-05:00

*snort* And I just cracked myself up. Name-tagged. Heh.

Anyway, thanks, K! :) I'll try to be better about getting in here to blog more often soon.

1. YOUR REAL NAME:

Honey Bumpers
(You didn't think I'd really tell, did you?)

2. YOUR GANGSTA NAME: (first three letters of your name, plus izzle)

Honizzle

3. YOUR “FLY Guy/Girl” NAME: (first initial of first name, first three of your last)

H-Bum

4. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (fav color and fav animal)

Blue Armadillo
(It's only my favorite animal because it's so fun to say in my faux southern accent. Plus, who wouldn't want to be known as "Blue Armadillo"?)

5. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, Street you live on):

Lynn Lakeside

6. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name, first 3 letters of mom’s maiden name)

Bumhover

7. SUPERHERO NAME: (favorite color, favorite drink)

Green Hot Cocoa
(for those of you paying attention, I have more than one favorite color.)

8. YOUR IRAQI NAME: (2nd letter of your first name, 3rd letter of your last name, any letter of your middle name, 2nd letter of your moms maiden name, 3rd letter of your dad’s middle name, 1st letter of a sibling’s first name, last letter of your moms middle name)

Are you kidding? OMNELBN? This is just silliness.

9. YOUR STRIPPER NAME: (the name of your favorite perfume/cologne/body spray)

Cotton Blossom. Oooh, I like it.

10. YOUR WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mother & father’s middle name)

Marie Dale. Um, okay.

Bad Omen?

2007-01-26T07:24:00.000-05:00

The past couple nights, my dreams have been fuzzy, but I always wake up knowing they weren't all positive. Usually they involve water, boats, and not quite being able to swim. Then there are the pirates. They're not the mean, scary sort - they're the harmless kitty type of pirates. You know, sweet and cute and fluffy, and if they bite you, it only leaves a mark for a very short time. As long as you scratch between their ears, they won't bite.

I have to wonder if my dreams are telling me I'm not in an ideal place in my life. Best I can tell from my dream dictionary, I'm either feeling good and I'm ready for positive emotional changes in my life, or I'm feeling lost and not positive about my situation. It's probably the engineer in me adjusting to life as a receptionist at a place that's been struggling for over a year. Or maybe it's a side effect of the January blues. Or maybe my dreams are just screwed up, and I was thinking about my vacation and how it related to my current wip, and I just wanted to play pirate myself for a while. Maybe it's time to pull out that Pirates! game again. :)

Happy Friday! Enjoy your weekend.

Quote of the Week

2007-01-24T06:42:00.000-05:00

Mr. Honey and I went to Kentucky to meet up with his family over Martin Luther King Jr. Weekend. We celebrated our Christmas then and had a great time at a pretty little cabin at Barren River State Park. While we were there, the family asked to see pictures from our cruise in December, so Mr. Honey pulled out the laptop and gave everyone a brief rundown of our activities. And then he pulled out The Video.

Mr. Honey shot the video using my new camera, enclosed in a fancy custom-made underwater case. That day, our ship was calling on Charlotte Amelie, St. Thomas, USVI. As pre-arranged, once our ship was docked and we'd passed through customs, Mr. Honey and I hopped into a cab and rode over to Red Hook, where we met up with Captain Pat.

Captain Pat owns a sailboat, the Ike Witt, and we'd booked a day to go sailing with him along with our Australian friends. (Side note: we met our Australian friends on our first cruise a year ago, and then discovered around Thanksgiving time that by sheer coincidence, we were all going to be together again on our latest cruise. We're all the same age, have similar hobbies, and do basically the same things at work. And we had an absolutely fabulous time hanging out with them, both the first and second cruises. How cool is that?!?!)

So we met Captain Pat, and our Australian friends joined us a few minutes later (they had to go through "foreigner" customs while Mr. Honey and I went through "American" customs), and we got going. We sailed around Pillsbury sound, and then Captain Pat took us in to anchor at Honeymoon Beach on St. John just as every other sailboat was packing up to sail to other beaches or around the sound as we'd already done. In short, we had the entire beach almost to ourselves, just the four of us. We didn't take advantage of the beach, though, because the snorkling was fabulous. And that's where Mr. Honey took The Video.

As Mr. Honey said to his sister just after she watched the video, "I made you watch octopus porn." Seriously, how much better does it get than seeing two octopi mating in the wild, when most people are lucky if they even get to see an octopus at all?

Ready for this week's quote?
"But I just said it!"
Who said it, and in what context?

Quote of the Week, and Kitty update

2007-01-19T06:44:00.000-05:00

The kittens are home! The kittens are home!

I picked them up after work last night and took them right home. They were so wide-eyed and traumatized (temporarily, of course, from having been left at the vet for over 48 hours) that they didn't make a single sound until Mr. Honey had pulled them from the van and let them out of their carrying case in the middle of the living room. And then they started crying and wandering around the house and rubbing up against absolutely everything. Poor babies are obviously in a bit of discomfort, but they seem to be handling it well. If either of them lost sight of us, she'd start to cry. Nearly broke my heart knowing how I'd tortured my kittens, but it was necessary. By the end of the evening, Saffron and Jinx were both lying on the bed with me while I read, and they snuggled over night just like they did before. Such sweet kitties. Saffron usually loves on us during the day, and Jinx always loves on us at night, but neither of them was willing to let us out of their sight from the time they got home to, well, now. I hope they don't get freaked when we head to work today.

On to last week's quote: "I don't like big balls."

Mr. Honey and I were walking through Target on New Year's Eve. I hadn't yet perused the significantly discounted leftover Christmas items, so I popped on over to the holiday section, letting Mr. Honey come find me a bit later. He caught up to me when I was in a row featuring seriously oversized tree decorations. Those metallic-looking glass bells and balls must've been at least 8 inches in diameter! What's the deal with that? Are trees getting so supersized that the ornaments have to be humongous? Or maybe they're for hanging off wreaths on your door, or from your chandeliers, because I know people who have chandeliers in their houses shop at Target. Who knows? At any rate, I wasn't impressed. So, as Mr. Honey walked down the aisle to meet me, I looked over at him and said, "I don't like big balls." When a guy down the way snorted, I added, "Oh, did I say that out loud?" That's my story, and I'm sticking to it.

Ready for this week's quote of the week?
"I just made you watch octopus porn." Who said it, and in what context?

Happy Friday!

Sad days coming to an end

2007-01-18T06:25:00.000-05:00

Two days ago, I dropped my kitties off at the vet for their "fixin'". It's been so very quiet and boring at my house since. You'd think Mr. Honey and I were those crazy cat people who talk about their pets all the time and can't live without them. Sadly, I think that's just about accurate. While visiting his family over the weekend, Mr. Honey whipped out my laptop and said, "Hey, wanna see videos of Jinx falling asleep?" And of course the family humored him. But naturally it wasn't just Jinx falling asleep. It was Jinx, about 9 weeks old, attempting to fall asleep while sitting up. You know, America's Funniest Home Videos quality. And I confess, I subjected my own family to the same thing just 2 months ago.

Anyway, tonight I'm picking my kittens up, and we'll have them back home. Saffron will be back to sitting on my lap and preventing me from typing easily, and Jinx will be back to kneading and licking my neck at all hours of the wee morning. I can't wait.

Friday Review

2007-01-12T09:16:00.000-05:00

It's the end of the first 5-day work week in ages, and I'm taking off at noon today. :) We're driving up to Nashville tonight, then on to a state park in Kentucky tomorrow to celebrate a belated Christmas with Mr. Honey's family.

I've learned some valuable lessons already in the new year. So I thought I'd share some with you.

1. If you want it done right, do it yourself. (I know, I know. You're all banging your head against the keyboard yelling, "Duh, Honey!" But seriously - this has been reinforced ten-fold the past two weeks. It's become painfully obvious that not everyone understands the idea of customer service, even when your job title implies that you should. Hence the reason I'm not looking forward to Tuesday morning, when I'll see what all went wrong this afternoon while I was out.)

2. Cats can become addicted to the internet. Seriously. Saffron's new favorite spot to sit in the house is on my lap while I'm at my desk. Her hindquarters rest on my legs, and her front paws sit at the edge of my desk. She stares in fascination at the computer screen, and has been known to chase the pointer. Can't say I blame her - it's just a different version of a mouse. We've known for a while that Jinx likes to watch TV, so this shouldn't be a surprise.

3. If Mr. Honey doesn't change out of his work clothes as soon as he gets home, he feels like he's still at work. While this is excellent for getting dinner on the table and the dishes washed afterwards, it's not necessarily good for Mr. Honey. Mr. Honey, take a deep breath. Then call the masseuse. You deserve it.

4. If the kitchen sink is going to leak, the dishwasher probably will, too. So will the pipes in the bathroom. Along with the roof. I've learned I'm grateful we're moving in 7 months. I'm also grateful to Mr. Honey for handling all the phone calls to get the repairs done.

5. If you put out candy in your work area, you'll find friends you never knew you had. Even if the candy is only peppermints. Hmmm... Wait a minute. Maybe I just learned my breath stinks.

What have you learned this year?

The things you don't want to know about your coworkers

2007-01-10T07:37:00.000-05:00

The new year brought a new job for me at work. I'm the receptionist now. Not quite where I pictured myself when I graduated college with my technical degree, but that's where I am. And I don't mind a bit. It's less stress, more social interaction with people, and I get to find out interesting things about the people I work with.

Such as which guy in the company gets Victoria's Secret catalogs delivered to him at work.

Who said life as a receptionist is boring?

Mystery quotes...

2007-01-09T10:25:00.000-05:00

Last week I teased you - who said, "I think I'm allergic to my clothes," and why, while we were on our cruise?

Er, that would be me.

I was sitting at breakfast about the second or third morning of our trip. Mr. Honey and I were eating at the outdoor buffet area, enjoying the weather, when he got up to get seconds. After a few minutes, I started sneezing.

You should know that for 3 weeks prior to our cruise, I sneezed incessantly. Seriously. I was starting to fear I'd developed an allergy to our cats. I'd sneeze at home. I'd sneeze at work. I'd sneeze in the car. I'd sneeze at stores and in friends' houses. Everywhere. All the time. So when I got to the cruise, and I stopped sneezing, it became quite clear that I was allergic to something - either middle Georgia, or our cats. Especially since every morning, when I put on a fresh, clean, set of clothes, I'd sneeze for about an hour and then go outside in the nice breeze, which would air out the fresh clothes I'd just put on, and I'd be all better about an hour later.

Back to breakfast. I was sitting there, all by my lonesome, sneezing. And this very nice woman sitting a few tables away turned around and said, "Bless you."

Being the polite person that I am, I responded, "Thank you." And then, for no particular reason other than an apparent need to over-share, I said, "I think I'm allergic to my clothes."

She recommended that I make my way to the pool and take care of that problem. I didn't have the nerve to look at her husband's face. But Mr. Honey certainly got a kick out of it when I told him what had happened.

Since we've been back, aside from the normal cold-induced sneezing and congestion, I haven't experienced the same level of olfactory discomfort. So I'm pretty sure whatever was causing problems, was just something in the air. Verdict is, I'm allergic to middle Georgia. Good thing we're moving to Ohio.

Ready for this week's mystery quote? Who said it and why? (Um, keyboard warning?)
"I don't like big balls."

Glub, glub, glub

2007-01-08T10:02:00.000-05:00

Yesterday morning, I sat down at my computer in our office and then immediately looked around to see what the cats were up to. Somebody was thumping something, like their foot against a desk, but I knew it wasn't me, and Mr. Honey was in the shower or something, so I knew it wasn't him. But the kittens were playing nicely somewhere, not making a thumping noise at all.

But the noise wouldn't stop. So I started thinking my neighbors were out to annoy me. But the neighbors weren't out and about yet.

Then Mr. Honey walked into the office. "Do you hear that?" I say, extremely annoyed at whoever it is who would be so thoughtless as to cause a constant banging noise for like 30 minutes straight before 8 AM on a Sunday morning.

Mr. Honey just grinned. "That's my beer," he announced.

Sure enough, it's beer, brewing in the closet in our office. Mr. Honey made up the batch Saturday afternoon, while fighting on the phone with an airline, and he put it away in the closet to ferment for the next two weeks. The yeast is doing its thing, and apparently having quite a party. That thumping is still going on today.

By the way, I was definitely less irritated once I realized it was Mr. Honey's beer. It's an animal - it can't help itself.

Resolution update

2007-01-04T07:33:00.000-05:00

I forgot a couple resolutions. They've made themselves quite obvious over the past few days, so I thought I should write them down. You know, accountability and all.

In 2007, I resolve to...
1. Brush my teeth every night.
2. Quit surfing the internet for celebrity gossip when I get bored at work. (Seriously, think of how much writing I could get done instead.)
3. Uh-uh. I'm not telling. This one's private. ;)

In other news, I had a dream last night that I was on a cruise ship, and I couldn't find the right documentation to get off when we returned to Miami. The moral of this dream? My vacation wasn't long enough. :)

Speaking of my vacation, I know I haven't said much about it so far. Wanna know my favorite quote of the whole week? "I think I'm allergic to my clothes." Anybody want to guess the context that was said in, and who said it?

Happy Thursday!

Breast Enlargement

2007-01-02T07:29:00.000-05:00

Mr. Honey and I were fixing a nice chicken breast lunch yesterday, and we started discussing portion size. See, the bag of frozen chicken says there are 13 breasts, and each breast is a portion. But... upon closer examination, we determined there were only 7 breasts in the bag in the first place, together weighing as much as 13 breasts used to weigh. So I have to wonder - what are they feeding these chickens to make their breasts bigger? And can I get some?

Happy New Year!

2007-01-01T19:01:00.000-05:00

Yep, I'm late wishing everyone a Happy New Year. :) Can I blame that party I went to last night?

So, it's the new year. Time to review last year's resolutions (some good, some bad, some out of my control) and look forward to this years. But I haven't given much thought to what I want to do this year. Have you? I know I want to take better care of myself health-wise (and maybe try to avoid another cold like the one I'm just about over). I know I want to finish the first draft of my pirate story, and start a first draft of another story that's been playing in my head, one that speaks to my inner child. Mr. Honey and I have a move coming up this summer, along with a kick-ass vacation just before the move (if the fates are willing), so I won't be able to attend RWA's National Convention like last year. But I have plans for 2008. And I resolve to handle the move well.

Enough of the boring stuff.

With the holidays behind us, and a new year (and new position at work) starting up, I'll be back on a regular basis again. Tune in tomorrow, when the old Honey returns. :)

Merry 2007!

Back... Kind of

2006-12-28T09:55:00.000-05:00

Sorry I've been quiet - we've been home since Sunday, but I have a horrific head cold and haven't even begun to catch up with my internet playing yet. No blog surfing, no bulletin boards, no nothing but cold-induced haze and work.

Vacation was great - I'll tell you all about it next week. In the meantime, have a great New Year!

While Honey's Away...

2006-12-17T15:37:00.000-05:00

Psst... Saffron and Jinx here. Or you can call us the Ninja Kitties. It doesn't meow-tter to us at all.

Since Honey and Mr. Honey left us all alone while they went on vacation, we hopped onto the internet and found out we can track Santa on Christmas Eve! We're hoping he brings us a couple new fishing pole toys, and maybe some more balls, or mouse heads to play with. And some catnip, but don't tell Mr. Honey we want catnip - he thinks it's drugs. *meow* We wouldn't do drugs. We'd just do catnip.

Anyway, Click Here and Track Santa! Tell him we've been good kitties, too, will you?

The Last Working Day...

2006-12-15T15:04:00.001-05:00

...before my holiday is ending in 2 hours. :)

Mr. Honey and I leave our ninja kittens tomorrow morning for our drive to the port. Sunday we board our holiday cruise ship. We'll be back Christmas Eve.

So if you don't see me for a while, you'll know where we are. We're soaking up some serious Caribbean rays, snorkling, and consuming beer (Mr. Honey) and BBC's (me). (That's Bananas, Bailey's, and Colada mix - learned about that on our vacation last year!)

May you all have a wonderful holiday season, and I'll see you just before next year.

Can't... Sit... Still... Again!

2006-12-13T09:09:00.000-05:00

Mr. Honey and I leave in less than 3 days for our holiday vacation. Woo-hoo! Caribbean, here we come! We started our packing last night, and I discovered my summer clothes still (mostly) fit, as well as my swim suits. Tonight I've got a hair trim and a manicure. Can it be Saturday yet? Please?

On another note, my strange dreams are back. This morning I was an active participant in a video game about smuggling. I think it has something to do with the book I just read - A Gentleman by Any Other Name by Kasey Michaels. (Great book, BTW.) In my dream, I was on a team and we were trying to sneak past all these electric-holographic dragons, but I discovered if I jumped on them, I became holographic and could enter "invisible flying mode" where I could also see more things at once. Then the effects wore off, Mr. Honey and I were suddenly on a cruise ship getting lectured and hiding from big waves, and then my alarm went off and I flung kittens across the room because I hadn't realized they were laying on my arm. I thought they were Mr. Honey snuggling with me. Really I didn't fling them, but I did startle them into jumping up and meowing at me a bit.

How's your morning shaping up? Got any big plans for the weekend or the holiday?

How'd they figure that out??

2006-12-12T06:02:00.000-05:00

As most of my friends know, I have this minor hiccup problem. Hiccups, for me, are like Pringles. Once I pop, I can't stop. However, I don't find hiccups nearly as pleasurable as Pringles, so when I get the hiccups, I reach for the nearest hiccup cure. Usually a spoonful of peanut butter will do it. A spoonful of sugar works in a pinch, such as when out at a restaurant, because apparently good restaurants don't stock peanut butter, but do stock sugar. As such, Reese's peanut butter cups will also work in a pinch, should you find yourself in a convenience store or gas station that doesn't sell peanut butter or sugar by the spoonful, but does sell candy.

*Phew*

Back to my point.

Driving to a holiday party the other night, Mr. Honey randomly started cackling. (He does that more often the longer we've been married. I think my randomness is finally rubbing off on him.) So I asked him what was so funny. And he tells me he was listening to a podcast that discussed the definitive work of modern times which details the best cures for hiccups.

I got all excited. Finally, my peanut butter would get the recognition it deserved. "It's not sugar," Mr. Honey said. "It's not peanut butter either."

"So what is it?" I asked. Silently, I'm praying he doesn't tell me it's drinking water while upside down - while entertaining to watch someone else do it, I've never personally found it all that attractive.

Mr. Honey snorted. "Guess."

"I'm not going to guess," I scoffed. "What is it?"

Mr. Honey cackles. "Well, see," he starts, snickering some more, "they did this study and found that most people's hiccups were cured when they, ah, stick their finger up their *location deleted for the sake of children who may stumble onto this blog, but you can use your imagination*."

"EEEEeeeeeewwwwww!!!!!!!!" I said.

Mr. Honey snorts. "Google it," he said. He then told me four words, "hiccup," "cure," "finger," and *noun deleted for the sake of children who may stumble onto this blog, but you can use your imagination*, and insisted that the actual document could be found this way.

I'm much too dignified to actually google those four words together (okay, really, I just don't want my work internet account to track that I've searched for them, so maybe I'll check from home later and update this with a link to the article, or maybe not...), so I'll let you do the work. Here, even: Use this link to get to Google.

But the question still remains: How did anyone ever decide to try this method in the first place? No, on second thought, I don't want to know. And I'll settle for being grateful that I wasn't a participant in this study.

Snow Angels!!!!!

2006-12-11T10:11:00.000-05:00

My very good friend Ellen has just had a short story published by The Wild Rose Press!! I bought my copy and read it over the weekend, and I thought it was fantastic! It's a short, sweet read that's put me into the Christmas spirit. Congratulations, Ellen!!!

Ava Carrolton has decided to make her own fate this holiday season. Tired of being alone and hoping to find love, she finally agrees to date the dashing and persistent owner of the department store where she works. Who wouldn’t enjoy spending time with a man who looks like a GQ model? But, she has one misgiving. She doesn’t feel The Spark with Mr. Debonair, so how is she to know if he’s The One?

When Ava literally bumps into Noah Shepard, every girl’s definition of The Boy Next Door, they form an unlikely friendship. As they bond, Noah seems to transform through Ava’s eyes. His thick frame glasses and shy stutters fade away, while a knight in shining armor emerges. Will Ava choose excitement and security with the handsome store owner, or a lifetime of making snow angels with a man who’s anything but ordinary?

Click on the picture to go directly to The Wild Rose Press to snag your copy of this delightful story.

Leaf Grinch

2006-12-08T08:45:00.000-05:00

Tis the season for leaves to fall in my neck of the woods. Have I ever mentioned how much I hate leaves? We've got 5 trees in our yard, all huge, and all drop leaves continuously from mid-November through the first of February. And because of the neighborhood rules, not raking/mowing-and-bagging isn't an option. Argh.

Two years ago, this little girl came around and offered to rake our entire yard for $5. We knew her dad, so we hired her (and paid her more than she asked every time, because we acknowledge that raking our yard is more than a $5 job). Then she moved away. Last year Mr. Honey and I had to rake our own leaves, though once or twice we borrowed a neighbor's leaf vacuum. (What a fantastic invention - if only they didn't cost an arm and a leg.)

So this past Sunday, another little neighbor kid knocked on the door, rake in hand, and asked if we needed our leaves picked up. I said, "Absolutely. What do you charge?"

So he told me to name my price. I told him I'd give him $20 to do the job, and he agreed. Mr. Honey stepped outside a short while later, and the kid and his partner asked how much of the yard was ours. Mr. Honey showed them the boundaries and told him to do what he thought was $20 worth of work. The kid and his partner looked around and said, "We'll do the entire yard for $30," and Mr. Honey and I agreed. In retrospect, I realize I should've defined the job in the first place, and never agreed to raise the price. After all, I knew what the job was when I hired them. But I really didn't want to have to rake leaves myself.

Half an hour later, the kid comes back and says he and his partner will be back to finish the job Monday night, because it's getting dark. As we hadn't paid them yet, we agreed that was a good plan.

So Monday, they came back and told Mr. Honey they'd like $20 apiece to finish the job, making it a total of $40. Mr. Honey came in to run it by me, and when he'd finished explaining, I stared at him like he'd grown a second head. "Absolutely not," I declared. They'd already raised the price once after telling me I could set the price, and I wasn't going to play games with kids. I can get a professional (with a partner) to do the job for $50 - why would I pay two kids, who aren't edging, sweeping the sidewalk and driveway, and doing all those other little extra things, near professional rates?

So Mr. Honey relates that the wife has put her foot down, and the kids will have to finish the job for the price we'd already agreed on. They worked for another half hour, then quit because it was getting dark.

(BTW, when I say "work" I mean "standing in the yard, sometimes raking, sometimes playing with the rakes and talking on cell phones.)

Tuesday came and went; no rakers.

Wednesday came and went; no rakers.

Thursday morning, I called the professional.

Late Thursday afternoon, just before I left work to head home, Mr. Honey called to report the neighbor kids had come back and were raking again. And we had the pro on the way to give us an estimate on the yard. So when I got home, we paid the kids $20 to go away. Since the time they'd started, more leaves had fallen, and the wind was preparing to blow all the leaves back into the yard. I wasn't going to wait a whole month for my yard to get done. Though it might've been cheaper, since we only would've had to pay then $30 for 3 weeks worth of raking.

Maybe I'm just a leaf grinch. But I think I've learned my lesson. First, the price of kiddie labor has gone up. Second, I won't hire kids again unless I know their parents. And third, sometimes it's easier to just pay the professional in the first place.

Still More Kitty Pics

2006-12-07T16:14:00.000-05:00

I've been lax in updating this lately, so I decided to play with Photobucket and make a slideshow of my kittens as a reward for my sweet friends who drop by to see what's new.

Happy Thursday!

Ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-changes

2006-12-05T10:54:00.000-05:00

There's a whirlwind going on in my head right now. It might not calm down for another 6-8 months, but I'm hoping it does, because I'm 3/4 of the way through a first draft of a story with a hot guy and a girl-next-door and I want to finish the draft so I remember how it ends when I re-write it to fix the discrepancies that inevitably happen when you write a 90,000-word novel and change who plays what role halfway through as the characters reveal their true nature. (Jeez, was that all one sentence?)

Anyway, Mr. Honey got word that we're moving Up Nort (that's "up north" in non-Minnesota speak) this summer. Nope, not Minnesota, but since we've lived there before, it's still fun to call it "up nort". (You can quit rolling your eyes, Mr. Honey. You knew I was like this when you married me.)

Anyway, there's a possibility my job will transfer me so I won't be a housewife downing gin and indulging in bon-bons. Truth be told, I'm not a gin girl, and I'm not sure I've ever had a real bon-bon, so I can't even say that I'd like them. I'd rather have hot cocoa and those rip-off Mrs. Fields cookies. (Come on, admit it - you've seen that recipe come around your inbox where someone claims she was charged $250 for the Mrs. Fields recipe, so she's sharing it with everyone she knows to get her money's worth. Well, guess what? They're really good, even if they aren't really the Mrs. Fields recipe.)

But there's no sense dwelling on the future that far off just yet. As Mr. Honey called to remind me earlier this morning, in 11 days we're leaving for vacation. Yay! Tropical weather, here we come! (And not a moment too soon. It's gotten cold for Georgia in the last couple days.)

Have a great Tuesday! (Comments in parenthesis brought to you by the parenthesis sidenote fairy.)

2006-12-03T19:52:00.000-05:00

This is Mr. Honey. I'm posting through Honey's account to keep Honey's identity a continued secret from those whom she hasn't told yet.

Thanks to Ellen for letting me know I was tagged.

Thanks to Lucy for tagging me.

Without further ado... Here's the list:

1. Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate? Egg Nog. Homemade. The version I found on the web. It may knock you out, but it's delicious! (I figure I should share the recipe, especially since I didn't make it up on my own.)

2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree? When I grew up, he did the same as for Lucy - my sister had them in one part of the room, mine in the other. Today, he doesn't bring material gifts, but rather the Spirit of Christmas.

3. Colored lights on tree/house or white? Colored.

4. Do you hang mistletoe? Honey does, but I like it.

5. When do you put your decorations up? When Honey tells me to. This year, not so much, but this weekend. I've developed a "Bah, humbug" attitude due to the over-commercialization of the holiday. Combined with a desire to travel away from home (and family) at Christmas, I have less desire to put up decorations.

6. What is your favorite holiday dish? Hmm... tough call. I like to eat, and I like to cook. I think my favorite must be whatever is being shared by good friends/family in the holiday spirit. If I had to choose, it'd probably be egg nog.

7. Favorite Holiday memory as a child? I'm not really sure. I don't want to choose, but rather enjoy all I can recall.

8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa? I don't remember. Really, I don't care either.

9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve? When I grew up, yes. Pretty much all the gifts (except those from Santa.) Now, it depends. Honey and I aren't doing gifts (as far as I know) for each other this year, so I guess not.

10. How do you decorate your Christmas Tree? Special ornaments, gained over time from friends and family.

11. Snow! Love it or Dread it? I've been in the South for too long, so I miss it.

12. Can you ice skate? It's not pretty, but it'd probably come back quickly... not that I was ever good.

13. Do you remember your favorite gift? No.

14. What’s the most important thing about the Holidays for you? Can I go back to, "Bah, Humbug"?

15. What is your favorite Holiday Dessert? Egg nog.

16. What is your favorite holiday tradition? It's a new one. Travel with Honey.

17. What tops your tree? Air.

18. Which do you prefer giving or receiving? I'm with Honey. I used to like receiving, but now it's giving.

19. What is your favorite Christmas Song? I don't know.

20. Candy Canes! Yuck or Yum? I'm not a big sweets fan.

There you have it. So, I'll tag... um... well, here's the deal. If you're reading this and you haven't been tagged yet, guess what, you are now! If you're reading this, and you have been tagged, feel free to tag another person again; you can be my proxy tagger.

Happy holidays!

Weird Dreams Again

2006-12-01T08:59:00.000-05:00

Last night I had one of those underwear dreams. I had to go get my hair cut, but I wasn't wearing pants. I figured since I had on a shirt and underwear that I'd be okay going to get my hair cut, but then on the way there, I was intercepted by a friend who wanted to do dinner in Hawaii. And we had to leave right away, even though I was in a t-shirt and underwear and nothing else. So Mr. Honey put a coat over me, or maybe it was a blanket, and we went off to dinner.

When we got there, we saw a friend we haven't seen in a long time because he's been deployed, but all he could do was smile. And he smiled and smiled at all of us, but he wouldn't say a word. His wife talked for him.
And then I turned around and saw that all the big-wigs from my day job were sitting at a table right behind us, in Hawaii, where I was at dinner with friends without any pants on. Then my steak and potatoes and something else arrived, and I started eating. And then... my alarm woke me up. I distinctly remember thinking, "Gee, I go from eating a steak dinner in Hawaii to it being morning here just because the alarm went off. At least I can wear pants to work today."

With my work Christmas party right around the corner, I'm afraid this dream is telling me if I drink too much, I'll expose myself to my coworkers. Maybe I shouldn't drink at all. Damn it. :)

Happy Friday! Anybody got any good weekend plans?

Holiday Tagged!

2006-11-29T08:38:00.000-05:00

My friend Pam tagged me on a holiday quiz! I'm totally excited, because I usually get tagged at the end of the list after everyone I know has already been tagged. Of course, I haven't checked to see who else has been tagged by other people yet...

1. Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate? Egg Nog. While I love a good glass of hot cocoa, I only get egg nog once a year. Unless I persuade Mr. Honey to make it from scratch, but then I also have to persuade him to not put so much al-kee-hol in it. :)

2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree? Santa wraps. He's very good at it, too. At least, he wraps when he visits. Some years we skip the gift-giving tradition in favor of a big vacation at Christmastime. Like this year. :)

3. Colored lights on tree/house or white? Colored! I think the white lights are very elegant, but I'm very much a color person.

4. Do you hang mistletoe? We have in years past, but since bringing the kittens into our house, it probably won't happen again unless it's fake. And what's the point of fake mistletoe?

5. When do you put your decorations up? Even though I'm fundamentally opposed to this, in recent years we've had our Christmas decorations up around Thanksgiving time. Usually it's because Mr. Honey is traveling much of December, or we have relatives coming for Thanksgiving and plan to exchange Christmas gifts with them over the Thanksgiving weekend, since we often don't see relatives over Christmas itself. This year, though, we've barely started thinking about it. We might not even do decorations, since we're on vacation until Christmas Eve. But if I change my mind, Mr. Honey is always very accomodating. :)

6. What is your favorite holiday dish? Oooh, so many choices. I love Stove Top Stuffing. But I also love just about any holiday cookie. The peanut butter kiss cookies, the toll house cookies, the chocolate crinkles, Mr. Honey's favorite Mexican Wedding cookies and snickerdoodles, my new favorite peanut butter cookies with miniature Reese's peanut butter cup chips, soft sugar cookies. Yum.

7. Favorite Holiday memory as a child? Going to Grandma's house on Christmas Eve. All my cousins would be there, and we'd have a fantastic meal (kids got to go through the buffet line first, all the food was put out on a table-clothed pool table), then Mom and her sisters would help Grandma clean up while all us kids begged and begged to open gifts. Then the mountains of gifts would be distributed and we'd all play and have a good time, and when we went home, it meant Santa was coming.

8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa? I was about eight years old, and I was a cocky little brat. One night Mom and Dad came into my room to tuck me in, and I said, "I know the truth about Santa Claus. I know you're really him." And they said, "Yep, just don't tell your sister." And then I was mad at myself because I totally ruined it.
I almost found out when I was about 5 - I'd made stockings out of paper for every single one of my dolls. I'd even named a couple dolls that had never been named before just so I could put their names on the stocking. I woke up in the middle of the night Christmas Eve to find Mom and Dad putting candy canes in each stocking. They told me Santa had asked them to do it because he had to get to everyone else's house.

9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve? If there are any gifts under the tree, we'll open one or two on Christmas Eve. It's usually the excitement of finally being able to show Mr. Honey what I found for him that was absolutely perfect. (It's not easy for me to keep secrets from Mr. Honey.)

10. How do you decorate your Christmas Tree? The year I graduated college, I bought a ton of those simple glass ball ornaments, because I was afraid I wouldn't have any other ornaments to hang on it. Now, we've got so many ornaments that we've gotten as gifts over the years, from the special glass ornaments Mr. Honey's sister picked out in cool art shops to the multitude of "Our First Christmas" ornamnts we got for our wedding and first Christmas together, to special Cherished Teddies ornaments Mr. Honey got me, to his Star Wars Hallmark ornaments, that we don't hardly have room for the ball ornaments I bought us 6 years ago. It's a mish-mash, and I love it. :) Our tree is a fake fiber-optic tree, so it lights itself, but we always put extra lights in to make it glow everywhere.

11. Snow! Love it or Dread it? Love it! Especially since I don't see it down South. But it never quite feels like Christmas without it.

12. Can you ice skate? Yes, but I'm a little rusty.

13. Do you remember your favorite gift? When I was about 7 or 8, Santa Claus brought me a Fisher Price weaving loom. He also brought a couple kits to go along with it, but he hid the wrapped weaving loom behind the couch. I noticed it before I unwrapped any of the kits that went with it, which was a big relief to Santa Claus, who apparently has a sense of humor. :)

14. What’s the most important thing about the Holidays for you? The overall feelings of good will that are supposed to accompany the holidays. It's not about who gets the best gift (even though it was as a child), but about appreciating the moment and being thankful for what we have.

15. What is your favorite Holiday Dessert? Fudge. Or last year's Godiva chocolate box that Mr. Honey brought home from a business trip right before our vacation. Yummmmmmmy.

16. What is your favorite holiday tradition? Sipping hot cocoa or egg nog and watching the lights dance on the tree in a mostly darkened room while snuggling with Mr. Honey. Dang, we might have to get the tree out this year after all. ;)

17. What tops your tree? Nothing. The tree speaks for itself.

18. Which do you prefer giving or receiving? Giving, so long as there's a personal touch to it. There's a great rush that comes from finding the perfect gift for someone, or sharing something that's special to us with friends and family. At the same time, it's fantastic when someone does the same for us, as Mr. Honey's sister did last year when she introduced us to Penzey's Spices.

19. What is your favorite Christmas Song? Just one? *whimper* Probably the Trans-Siberian Orchestra's Christmas Canon Rock or Dolly Pardon & Kenny Rogers singing I Believe in Santa Claus. Traditional, I love Silver Bells and Carol of the Bells, and also Rockin' around the Christmas Tree. *sigh* I just love Christmas music.

20. Candy Canes! Yuck or Yum? I can take 'em in small doses, unless we're talking about the raspberry or blueberry flavored ones.

Yay! I'm feeling more Christmas-y now. And I tag... Kristen and Lucy!

My New Diet

2006-11-28T08:18:00.000-05:00

Warning: DO NOT read this if you're squeamish and/or eating. Seriously.

Now, on to business.

My cats introduced me to a new diet this morning. For simplicity, we'll call it the cat turd diet. (I warned you... it's not too late to back out now.)

I was just about to grab my lunch and my water bottles and head out the door when I noticed them scratching at a brown streak on the floor near their litter box. Since it was a bit dark in the room, I figured it was just a leaf. A big, long, brown leaf that'd been crumpled on the ground. Okay, so I was hoping it was a leaf. But nooo-oooo-ooooo. It was a flattened cat turd. Like they'd kicked it out of the litter box (which I changed less than 48 hours previously) and then slid across the floor on it.

To their credit, they were trying to clean it up. At least, I assume that's what they were doing by pawing furiously at it. Gotta give 'em credit for knowing the turd belonged in the litter box, or at least not on the tile floor.

So, being the good kitty mommy that I am, I grabbed a couple Clorox wipes (it didn't exactly look like a one-wipe job) and knelt down beside them. That's when I made the fatal mistake. I should've just let the cats clean it up.

I won't go into details, but trust me when I say cat poop stinks. Especially at 7:30 AM. I may not eat again for the rest of the day.

I suspected Jinx as the accidental culprit, so I grabbed a couple baby wipes (on hand for just such an occasion) and tortured her by wiping down her paws. She was hiding when I left for work, but I know my little kneading kitty will be glad to see me when I get home tonight. And I'll be glad to see her too. After all, with a cruise coming up, swimsuit season is approaching. Great time for a cat turd diet, don't you think?

Thanksgiving in Review

2006-11-27T08:32:00.000-05:00

Mr. Honey and I got home yesterday afternoon from our long weekend trip to see family. Among the highlights:

One of my mom's plants attacked me in the dark the night we arrived. I put the evil eye on it, and it left me alone the rest of the trip.

We ate too much Thanksgiving dinner - especially Mr. Honey.

I shopped from 6AM until 4PM on Friday. Walked away with a new dress (60% off), a white elephant gift exchange gift for Mr. Honey's Christmas party (hehehe), the movie Cars, 2 new cookie cutters (mitten and candy cane), a new wallet for Mr. Honey (66% off), and a pasta maker attachment for my Kitchenaid mixer as a Christmas gift from Mom and Dad.

Had a great steak dinner followed by Cold Stone (not Stone Cold, Mom) ice cream Friday night.

Was so tired I cried in joy at the sight of Crunch Berries cereal Saturday morning. Then cried all over again when Dad offered to make pancakes for Mini-me's friend who had spent the night, but not for me. (Seriously - I get emotional when I'm tired. My family thinks it's hysterical. I think it's funny, but dealing with a clogged nose prevents me from thinking it's full-up hysterical.)

Played Killer Bunnies with the family. (Dad insisted - he said any game with a name like Killer Bunnies was worth playing at least once. Then he won.)

All said and done, Mr. Honey and I spent about 30 hours on the road. We went to bed at 8 last night. And we're not even 30 yet!!

Hope everybody else had a great Thanksgiving!

Packing List

2006-11-21T10:16:00.000-05:00

Mr. Honey and I leave in the morning for a trip up north to visit family for the holiday. We haven't packed yet, but we've started a list. So far, here's how it looks:

Winter coats
Frosted Mini Wheats cereal
Piano keyboard and bench
Christmas presents
Pirates! for the computer
Cameras
Laptops
Books
Audio books
Killer Bunnies
Snacks
Mickey Mouse scrapbook paper

We might possibly find a way to be even more random, but I don't think I could find a legitimate use for a shower curtain, a broken picture frame, and eight balls of yarn.

Are you traveling for the holidays? What are you taking with you when you go?

Quote of the Weekend

2006-11-20T08:35:00.000-05:00

"No, no, honey, you're too young to have beer." --Mr. Honey, talking to Jinx.

Happy Turkey Week!

Light of Humanity

2006-11-17T08:18:00.000-05:00

Click here and read this.

Amidst stories of war, divorce, shady politics, and unthinkable "confession" books being published, just when I'd started to lose faith in humanity, along comes a story about a truly good person. And so today, we go from Happy Easter to Merry Christmas, and this time I don't care that it's not even Thanksgiving yet.

Have a great day!

Happy Easter

2006-11-15T11:36:00.000-05:00

I refuse to believe it's November already. And I refuse to believe that Thanksgiving is next week, and that the meal I enjoyed yesterday for lunch was my company's Thanksgiving luncheon. So, with that in mind, I wish you all a Happy Easter. May you have a wonderful Spring and a mild Summer. And have an extra bite of ham for me, would you?